


You're A Wizard Harry

by LoveFandomFic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Bottom Harry, Domestic Discipline, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Spanking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:54:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22209760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveFandomFic/pseuds/LoveFandomFic
Summary: This series will follow Harry throughout the years and will stick mostly to canon with a little spin.It will eventually be snarry and have adult themes, but it's going to take a while. So many snarry fics have them jumping into bed without explaining how they got there, my hope is to build this up as organically as possible.My plan is to delve into Harry's childhood more than the books did, so if you are triggered by child abuse you might want to stay away from this story. To truly understand such a complex character I think it's important to understand the environment he grew up in.If you stick with me, I promise a happy ending where Harry is loved and cared for. This will be a long fic, and I will update tags as necessary. Harry and Snape will grow to have a domestic discipline style relationship.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 43
Kudos: 261





	1. In The Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> No money is being made, characters don't belong to me, you know the drill.

A small boy with dark raven hair and bright emerald colored eyes woke up to loud pounding on the stairs above his head. This child who appeared no older then 5 or 6, instead of almost 11, didn't know it at the time but his life was about the change in a very drastic way. 

Harry quickly sat up and waited for the sound of the bolt on his door sliding open. This morning started like most other mornings, with his aunt telling him to get breakfast started. Harry quickly ran to the bathroom and drank a mouthful of water from the tap before heading to the kitchen. He knew better than to make his uncle late for work. 

His uncle didn't have time in the morning for his freakiness. 

He pulled the chair over to counter so he could get the pan down from the cabinet. It was a practiced move and he quickly found the fry pan he was looking for. 

Moving over to the fridge he got out all the ingredients for a traditional fry up. He just hoped everything went well this morning. He had accidently let the bacon burn the other day while he was pouring his aunt a cuppa and the bruises were just now turning yellow. 

It had been a couple days since Harry had last eaten, he hoped there might be some leftover toast for him this morning. He was just grateful that his aunt and uncle allowed a freak like him their leftovers. No one else would ever want him and he had to earn his keep. 

Scraping some eggs onto three plates he heard the loud noise coming from the stairs, it meant his uncle was coming down. Harry grabbed the toast and put it on the table with the fresh jam his aunt had picked up yesterday. Grabbing the still sizzling pan of bacon, Harry began to pile it on the three plates as his uncle walked through the kitchen door. 

Harry's Uncle looked more like a small whale than a person. Just about as round as he was tall, he was not a man to be crossed. Uncle Vernon had a short temper and shorter patience for any disrespect. 

"You better not have burned the bacon this time boy. I work hard to put food on this table and I won't have you wasting it because you are too lazy to watch it." Vernon sat down next to Petunia and kissed her cheek good morning.

"Yes uncle Vernon, I watched it real close." Harry poured some cold milk into a glass and set it next to the last empty seat. Just then a smaller version of uncle Vernon came running through the door. Harry quickly backed up and waited against the corner of the kitchen. He was far enough away not to disturb his family while they were eating but close enough in case his family needed anything else. He listed to them talk about their daily plans but quickly tuned out when it was clear it didn't involve him. He heard Dudley mention something about Cinema and Vernon talking about an important client he was meeting today. Harry was startled out of his thoughts by his uncle snapping his fingers inpatiently. 

"Pay attention boy more coffee!" His uncle grabbed his arm when he came over with the pot. "I've had just about enough of you today. One more problem boy and I'll give you a good smacking before I leave do you hear?"

"Yes uncle Vernon I'm sorry! I'll be good I promise." Harry could feel tears gathering in his eyes but he wouldn't let them fall. He learned a long time ago tears just made things worse. He just wished with all his heart that he could stop being such a worthless disappointment. 

"Just like your lazy good for nothing drunk father. Go fetch the mail boy and be quick about it. I want to read the paper before I leave." Vernon cuffed Harry on the back of the head as he went passed him. 

Running to the front door and grabbing the post, one letter in particular caught the little boys attention. It was a heavy envelope made out of a thick soft paper. Coming through the kitchen door he stared in shock. The letter was addressed to him! Who would want to write to him, he didn't have any friends. Placing the rest of the mail and the paper on the table he started to open the curious letter. Before he could get very far, the letter was yanked out of his hands by Dudley.

"Give that back it's mine!" Before Harry could reach for it, Vernon grabbed it and looked at Harry with bewilderment. 

"Don't be ridiculous who would write a letter to you?" Vernon glanced at the front and the color drained from his face. Hearing the gasp from Petunia, Vernon regained his composure and turned bright red. He reached out one meaty hand and grabbed the front of Harry's large threadbare shirt. The boy started struggling but it wasn't any use. His uncle slammed open the cupboard door and threw him inside. Locking the bolt and sliding the grate closed, he yelled through the door, "I won't tolerate any freakiness in my house. I won't stand for it. You better hope that's the last letter you receive, or else I'll make sure you wish you would have died with your worthless parents."

Harry heard the front door slam shut. Alone in the dark Harry let his tears fall, not for the firsr time, he already wished he would have died. At least then he wouldn't have been such a burden.


	2. Changing of The Tide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finds out he's a wizard and comes to terms with the fact he's not normal. 
> 
> Short chapter but necessary to get us set up for life at Hogwarts.

After several attempts to stop the letters from being delivered Uncle Vernon decided getting away from Privet Drive was the only solution. Whoever was trying to get ahold of Harry was very determined to get the letter to him, and it made Harry wonder what was so important that his Uncle was equally determined to keep the letter from him. 

Even traveling didn't seem to help, as if by magic the letters were always addressed to wherever they stayed. Of course he didn't dare say such a thing out loud. The "M"word was forbidden in the Dursley's residence. Magic didn't exist, his Uncle's belt had made that clear. 

Harry was wondering if his Uncle was losing it, as each day passed with more and more letters being delivered, his behavior was getting frantic. Even Aunt Petunia was trying to convince Vernon to go home.

With pure glee his Uncle announced he aquired a new location for them to stay. That's how Harry found himself in a dusty cold shack the night of his birthday just wishing that his mystery writer would come rescue him. 

[excerpt from HP: SS]

Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket.

The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn’t sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger. Dudley’s snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley’s watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he’d be eleven in ten minutes’ time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.

[/excerpt]

The loud BOOM had Harry ducking for cover and praying that the roof would cave in. He peered towards the doorway to see the largest man he had ever laid eyes on. 

Was it a killer? Was he here for Harry? Was this his mystery writer? Where was his Uncle? So many thoughts filtered through his mind as he giant started to speak to his cousin. He could hear the shrill voice of his Aunt and the loud screaming voice of his Uncle start up at once. 

Muggle? What was a muggle? 

"...is Harry Potter. I've come to take the boy with me." The giant's booming voice rattled off the walls. 

Swallowing down his nausea Harry came out from behind the couch and stared up at the imposing figure of Hagrid. "Sir, I'm Harry Potter."

Instantly the man's face became much more gentle and he fumbled with something in his pocket. "Of course you are, spittin image of James, except your eyes of course. Here's a cake for you Harry. Happy Birthday!... Oh! And here is your letter!"

"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? Sir, I don't understand I think you've made a mistake." Harry's wide green eyes looked up and then glanced at his Uncle who's face was quickly turning purple.

"No mistake, you're a Wizard Harry. You've been down in Hogwarts books since before you were born. And if you are anything like your parents, I imagine you'll be a good one. You will be trained by Albus Dumbledore the best headmaster Hogwarts has ever had." 

"I cannot be a.... a....Wizard. I'm Harry... Just Harry." 

"Well just Harry....Haven't you ever done anything you couldn't explain. Maybe when you were excited or scared?" At Harry's timid nod he smiled. "I thought so. You'll see, with a bit of training you'll be just fine. Unless you'd rather stay here?" 

With one more look at his Uncle he took the giant's hand and they made their way out of the failing down shack. 

A Wizard.... The idea still had him in shock. Harry didn't know what his life would be like, where he was going, who he'd live with, or how he'd pay for anything but it had to be better than living with his Aunt and Uncle. He could earn his keep and surely if there was a mistake, they could find some place to keep him. After all, he was a pretty good cook, and could clean really well. He didn't eat much or take up much space. No one would probably even know he was there. At least he knew one thing for certain... His uncle had been right all along. He was a freak.


	3. Doggone It's Diagon Alley!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets his first taste of the wizarding world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember folks, kudos and comments make writers happy. :)

“So Voldemort... sorry He Who Must Not Be Named.... killed my parents. They didn't die in a car crash, they were murdered.... because of me.” _Figures,_ Harry thought, _I guess all those years of abuse were my penance for getting my parents killed._

The dark alley gave them plenty of privacy, but this was definitely not a conversation that Hagrid wanted to be having. Dumbledore told him not to discuss Voldemort with Harry. He had a job to do, and this wasn't it. He just felt so badly for the young wizard. It felt like yesterday that he had the tyke in his arms.

“Now Harry, it wasn't your fault you were just a baby. And because of you, He Who Must Not Be Named is gone. That's why you are famous, that's why everyone knows your name, you defeated him all those years ago. Now, no more questions, we have a schedule to keep, lets go get the things you need.” Hagrid tapped on the brick wall and Harry looked amazed as the wall magically moved to create an opening.

“I think I'm going to really love magic.” Harry stepped through to the busy street. He could feel Hagrid's heavy hand on his shoulder. While I'm sure it was meant to be comforting, he couldn't help but flinch. He didn't really like people touching him.

Harry couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. There were so many people and so much noise. It was a big change from a small dark cupboard. He had never been able to have any friends - Dudley saw to that. It didn't take the kids at school long to figure out that Dudley would pick on anyone who tried to be nice to him. Even teachers stopped paying attention to him after a while. Harry thought that if he did well in school that maybe his Aunt and Uncle would be proud of him. All that got him was a slap and accusations that he somehow switched his test with Dudley's. Harry was smart enough to learn that being invisible was a much better option. Sure, he still got picked on by Dudley, but he was a quick runner and he could often get away during a game of “Harry Hunting”.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he took a couple deep breaths to calm down and started looking around. Harry saw all different kinds of animals, broomsticks, potions, it was almost like a dream. He could smell pastry's cooking and his stomach gave a small grumble. He still hadn't eaten and it didn't look like he would be eating anything anytime soon. His biggest concern was his lack of money. Dudley got an allowance but as his Uncle constantly reminded him, Harry's allowance was that he was allowed to continue to live there.

“Hagrid, how am I supposed to buy all these things for school. I haven't gotten any money.” Flushing red, Harry gazed towards the ground. He hated feeling helpless, but it would come out that he was poor at some point. Hell, Hagrid would probably take him back once he found out he couldn't afford to attend Hogwarts.

“Don't worry Harry, our first stop is Gringotts. It's the wizarding bank. Just stick close to me Harry, the bank is run by Goblin's. They are not the nicest creatures and you don't want to get on a Goblin's bad side.” Hagrid led his charge through the giant wooden doors of the bank. The marble floors shined as if recently polished, and the sound of clinking gold and silver filled the air. Talking with the Goblin and handing over Harry's key, they were soon off to the boy's vault.

Hagrid couldn't help but smile at the wide eyes Harry had looking at all the money. He had to admit, the Potter vault held quite a small fortune. He knew they were well off, but he was a little in shock to see how much was in Harry's vault as well. It probably wasn't the smartest move picking up Dumbledore's package while he had Harry with him, but Dumbledore was clear that he expected him to bring the package back with him tonight. Who was he to question Dumbledore's orders?

Harry wasn't sure how he felt about Goblin's. They seemed kind of scary and he had never met a non-human before. He wasn't racist like his Aunt and Uncle, but the idea of there being more than one species was going to take some getting use to. As for Hagrid, he wasn't sure what that package was that he picked up, but it seemed very non-impressive for all the secrecy. It couldn't have been larger than a deck of cards. Whatever it was, it was very well protected, and the Goblin's seemed very interested in the object. What could Dumbledore have hidden away in a bank? Sometimes he could hear the telly from his cupboard. Dudley would watch a lot of robber movies and they were always breaking into banks. Maybe it was a priceless jewel or some artifact the school was researching.

Entering the door to a shop called Ollivanders, Harry didn't really know what to expect. Hagrid was the only person he knew and he went off somewhere to do whatever he was going to do. He sure hoped that Hagrid wouldn't just leave him here.

An old man with startling white hair came out the back and a chill ran down Harry's back when the old man's gaze fell on him. He felt completely laid bare in front of this stranger, like he could see into his very soul.

“Ah, Mr. Potter, I've been wondering when I would see you.”


	4. All Aboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry makes it onto the train. Next stop Hogwarts!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. I've been finishing up some course work for a new web development certificate and it's taken me away from here. I finally took my test and passed so updates should come a little more frequently! Woot! 
> 
> I really enjoy reading your comments and feedback. I currently don't have a Beta, so if you notice any typos please feel free to let me know. I know how distracting they can be. 
> 
> Lastly, I try to stay as accurate to the books as possible. Sometimes details between the books and movies don't match up, but if something seems off please tell me. It's been a minute since I've read the earlier books. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this!

[Excerpt: HPSS]

Harry tried. And tried. He had no idea what Mr Ollicander was waiting for. The pile of tried wands was mounting higher and higher on the spindly chair, but the more wands Mr Ollivander pulled from the shelves, the happier he seemed to become.

“Tricky customer, eh? Not to worry, we’ll find the perfect match here somewhere – I wonder now – yes, why not – unusual combination – holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple.”

Harry took the wand. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wand above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls. Hagrid whooped and clapped and Mr Ollivander cried, “Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well… how curious… how very curious…”

He put Harry’s wand back into its box and wrapped it in brown paper, still muttering, “Curious… curious…”

“Sorry,” said Harry, “but _what’s_ curious?”

Mr Ollivander fixed Harry with his pale stare.

“I remember every wand I’ve ever sold, Mr Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather – just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother – why, its brother gave you that scar.”

[/Excerpt]

Harry bit his bottom lip as the weight of the words Ollivander said seeped into his bones. Destiny. Destiny took away everything that mattered. Destiny put him in a place where he was starved, beaten for no reason, and made to feel...completely alone. Was he just a piece of some puzzle, meant to be nothing more than used as a tool in some game that he didn't even know how to play?

“Thank you Mr. Ollivander for helping me find a wand. It's beautiful.” Harry, left the seven galleons on the counter and turned towards Hagrid.

“Come on Harry, we've got to get going now.” Hagrid nodded at Ollivander and lead Harry out of the shop.

Hagrid felt bad for the little tyke. He looked so much like James, but he had a deep sadness behind his eyes that James never had. It didn't escape his notice that Harry wasn't nearly as tall as James had been at that age. Lilly wasn't short for a women either, so he couldn't explain why Harry was so short and so skinny. Maybe the boy just hadn't hit his growth spurt yet. One thing was for sure, Hagrid felt a strong need to protect him. He hated that Dumbledore was making him return tonight to Hogwarts. He desperately wanted to take Harry with him, told Dumbledore he'd even let Harry share his hut with him until school started, but Dumbledore wouldn't have it. He said the boy had to take the train with the rest of the students. He just hoped that Harry made it to the train. Those Dursley's were horrible muggles.

To say Harry's last month with the Dursley's was unpleasant would be an understatement. Uncle Vernon made it clear he wanted Harry gone, but wouldn't risk kicking him out and having more freaks show up at his door. As funny as Dudley's tail had been, it wasn't worth the belting Uncle Vernon had given him when he came back home. It hurt to move the next day and he barely was able to get half of his chores done. No chores, no food, no food, no strength. So began the endless loop of taunts, bullying, beatings, and starvation that seemed to never end. Fortunately, Uncle Vernon didn't bruise his face or arms. Most of his torso was not so lucky. His bruising was at several different stages from purple to a yellowish green. It would be covered by his robes at least. Harry was so looking forward to Hogwarts and was the most excited about potions. Maybe he would learn how to make a potion that could help him heal up from punishments. Though, if Harry didn't have any bruises his uncle would probably beat him more often for his freakishness.

At long last the day to leave Little Whinging finally arrived. His uncle dropped him off at the train station on the way to the hospital. Dudley's tail still had not gone away and the Dursley's were getting desperate with school starting back up soon. Harry had never been on a train before and struggled to push the cart with all his belongings on it. He didn't leave anything at the Dursley's. He was afraid they might throw it out or burn it while he was away at school. Not that he had a lot of belongings that weren't part of his school requirements. Mostly some hand me downs and a few broken action figures he liked to play with sometimes. Harry used to talk to them and imagine what it would be like to be a soldier, but lately he had been talking to his owl. Hedwig was always there for him. She was his best friend.... well.... his only friend really. Though, Harry thought about Hagrid, how he had feed him, had taken him shopping, and given him a pet. Harry guessed that Hagrid could be called his friend.

After what seemed like an endless amount of searching, Harry thought that Hagrid had lied to him. He could not find platform 9 ¾ to save his life. He got so desperate he even asked someone who worked at the station to help him, just for them to get angry at him for wasting their time. He should have known better than to ask for help. Maybe he wasn't meant to go to Hogwarts. Made he was just a waste of time. Certainly if he made it to Hogwarts, they'd realize that and send him home anyway. He felt tears well up in his eyes and he wiped the back of his hand again them quickly. The last thing he needed was to be a baby in the middle of the crowded station. Harry glanced around once more trying to find something familiar, and saw a bunch of red heads hurrying through the crowd.

“Come on now, don't mind the muggles, we need to hurry. We need to get to Platform 9 ¾ before the train leaves.” The mother's voice seemed to bounce off the very walls of the station.

Harry quickly pushed his cart to follow them. He rounded the corner just in time to see one lanky boy with red hair run straight at the brick wall and disappear. Harry turned around to see if anyone else was watching them, but they seemed oblivious to what was going on. Turning back, Harry watched the next boy also run towards the brick and vanish. He looked just like the other boy and Harry assumed they were twins. Pushing his cart up, he waived at the last boy to gain his attention.

“Hello dear, is this your first time trying to get on the Platform?” The red headed women smiled down at him and she felt her daughter hid behind her.

“Yes Ma'am. But I don't know what to do.” Harry bit his lip and prayed this nice lady would help him.

“Don't worry dear, this is Ron's first year at Hogwarts as well. Now, all you need to do is walk directly between Platform's 9 and 10. Don't stop until you come out on the other side. Best give it a running go if you are a little scared.” Molly looked down at the boy who looked so much like James. Clearly this was little Harry and little was the right term to use. The boy looked way too small to be starting Hogwarts. He was smaller than Ginny and she was petite for her age.

Harry ran towards the brick wall and closed his eyes just as he was about to pass through. He was certain he was going to crash, he could feel his heart beating out of his chest as he was sucked through and he opened his eyes to see the Hogwarts Express. He felt the other red heads come through behind him and quickly made his way to the up to the train.

It wasn't hard to find an empty cabin towards the back of the train. Most people were talking with each other or saying goodbye to their families. The train was very loud and a little overwhelming. Harry sat in the corner seat farthest away from the door and looked out the window. He had his knees up to his chest and watched children getting last hugs from their parents. A tight ball seized up in his chest. He had no one to say goodbye to, no one to hug him or say they will miss him, it was moments like this that he missed his parents the most. Would they be proud of him? Would they be here to help him get on the train and make sure he had everything? He couldn't remember much of his parents, but he hoped they would love him if they could. They wouldn't care that he was a freak right?

Just as the train whistle sounded the door to his cabin opened and the boy with red hair and freckles peaked his head in. “Can I join you? All the other cabins are full.”

“Sure” Harry watched him come in and plop down on the other row of seats.

“I'm Ron, Ron Weasley” The boy held out his hand, clearly a gesture that had been ingrained in him.

“I'm Harry, Harry Potter” Harry uncurled his body and shook the boys hand.

Ron's eyes got wide as he took in the small boy. This was Harry Potter? The Boy who Lived? The boy who defeated 'He Who Must Not Be Named'? He couldn't be... he was no savior he was a runt.


	5. Welcome to Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry rides the train and gets his first look at his new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are staying safe! At least with the Corona Virus closing everything down, the forced hibernation should give me more time to write. Silver linings! 
> 
> I'm already working on the next part, but didn't want the chapter to be too long, so I broke it up. The sorting feast will be next.

[Excerpt: HPSS]

"Are you really Harry Potter?" Ron blurted out.

Harry nodded.

"Oh -well, I thought it might be one of Fred and George's jokes," said Ron. "And have you really got -- you know..."  
He pointed at Harry's forehead.

Harry pulled back his bangs to show the lightning scar. Ron stared.  
"So that's where You-Know-Who”

"Yes," said Harry, "but I can't remember it."

"Nothing?" said Ron eagerly.

"Well -- I remember a lot of green light, but nothing else."

"Wow," said Ron. He sat and stared at Harry for a few moments, then, as though he had suddenly realized what he was doing, he looked quickly out of the window again. 

[/Excerpt] 

'I really wish Ron would stop looking at me', thought Harry. He couldn't help but fidget in his seat. Harry learned at a young age attention was never a good thing. He felt much more comfortable when people ignored him. 

As much as Ron was trying, he couldn't help the fact that he kept glancing over. The silence was awkward. He just hoped that they would be at Hogwarts soon, he wasn't sure how much of this he could take. 

There was commotion from the hallway of the train. Ron looked at Harry and motioned towards the door. “What is that?” 

Shrugging, Harry got up and peaked out. There was an older women pushing a cart. It was piled high with all kinds of goodies and other children were eagerly purchasing food from her. “It looks like a snack cart.” Harry's stomach took the opportunity to rumble. He hadn't eaten in a while and he definitely needed something soon. He fiddled with the coins in his pocket and bit his lip. 

Ron looked down at his sandwiches with a frown. The wrapping crinkled in his hands as he pulled it open. “Ugh! Mum knows I don't like this. She must have been in a rush. With the lot of us she doesn't have a lot of free time.” He tossed the sandwiches next to him on the seat. His face was flushed with embarrassment. 

Harry was trying to save his money... he didn't know how much he had, but he knew it had to last through his schooling. Uncle Vernon was certainly not going to buy his school supplies. Looking at his new....friend? he couldn't help but want to cheer him up. He slipped out into the hall as the old lady came up to their door. She had a bright smile on her face as she gazed down at the small boy. She seemed in very good spirits. She had on a colorful robe and was wearing a funny looking hat. Harry thought she seemed very grandmother like as she asked what he would like to purchase. 

Wizarding treats were apparently much different than muggle candy because she didn't have any of the items he had heard Dudley mention. Harry hadn't tried a lot of candy, mostly he finished whatever his cousin got tired of eating. The odd ice cream cone here and there was about all he could hope for, he had never seen Dudley turn down chocolate.

“We will take some of everything!” Ok, so maybe not the brightest move to make. He hated to hand over most of his money but it was worth it to see the look on Ron's face. 

Ron looked like Christmas had come early. His wide eyes took in all the candy that Harry dumped between them on the seat. His sandwiches were left forgotten. He had heard the Potter's came from an old wealthy family, but he couldn't image buying so much sweets. His Mum would have been screaming at him for weeks if he had done that. Maybe being friends with Harry Potter wasn't so bad. Even if he was a short thing, he at least seemed to like Ron. 

They talked about all kinds of things. Ron told him about Hogwarts, about the different houses, about a game called Quidditch. He learned that he really shouldn't say Voldemort's name. There was so much about the Wizarding world he didn't know. He wasn't sure he was going to fit in. 

A boy, Neville, came in looking for his toad and a girl, Hermione, with bushy hair kept interrupting them. He wasn't sure he liked the girl. She was a little loud and showy for him. She seemed to know more about him than he did. It was a bit intimidating really. The way she criticized Ron for having a dirty nose reminded him of Petunia as well. No, he was just going to have to keep an eye on her. Especially as she seemed to know magic already. At least Ron had the same dumbfounded look on his face when she mentioned having read all the books. Harry hadn't even opened his, afraid that his uncle might destroy them. At least they were friendly and trying to be helpful. 

Now Malfoy, Harry knew he didn't like him. He was like a thinner version of Dudley. He seemed to be nothing but a mean bully with bully friends. Harry could always spot the bullies, they always had this same look in their eyes that spelled trouble. Harry would have to stay as far away from Malfoy and his goons as possible. He definitely did NOT want to go into Slytherin. If Voldemort and Malfoy were both Slytherin's, then that was enough proof that Slytherin was not the place he wanted to be. 

An announcement was made that they were approaching Hogwarts. Harry and Ron looked at each other and quickly jumped up to get changed. Harry turned away from Ron as he stripped off Dudley's old thread bare clothes. He couldn't help but feel conscious about his clothes. His underwear was dirty and stained from only being hand washed in the sink the day before. His left sock had a hole in the toe. Next time he was able to go shopping, he would definitely have to ask about where he could purchase new underwear and socks. They felt the train slow down and come to a stop. The excited noise seemed to grow. Harry could practically feel the vibration in the train as the energy increased. Everyone couldn't wait to get off the train and go into the school. From the window, Harry could make out Hagrid. The silhouette of Hogwarts shinning behind him. The night had started to settle in and was already casting shadows. If Hagrid hadn't been so big and different, Harry might not have been able to pick him out. 

Ron stuck close to Harry as they made their way off the train. He was a little shocked at how BIG Hagrid was, but he seemed nice enough. Harry seemed to know him and like him, which was good enough for him. A gust of cold wind blew over them and he saw Harry shiver. He wasn't surprised, the robs different provide much protection from the weather and his underclothes wouldn't help much either. Ron had tried not to look, but he couldn't help notice the state of his friend's clothing. If the Potter's were so rich, how come he couldn't afford decent under clothes? His new friend was also way too skinny. He thought he had just been short, but now he wasn't sure. He had caught sight of several finger shape bruises. Maybe Harry was a trouble makers and got in a lot of fights? He seemed to stand up to Malfoy pretty well. 

The black lake glittered under the starlight. Harry was happy that Neville and Hermione joined them in the boat, for a minute he was worried that Malfoy might try to join them. He still cast an angry glare at Harry when they waited on the platform. Definitely trouble with a capital T. Harry did his best to stick close to Ron as they entered the school. The heavy wooden doors lead to a beautiful stone entryway. Harry wasn't sure he had ever seen something so beautiful. There were high ceilings that seemed to go on forever and breathtaking marble staircases that lead to upper floors. It was the thing of fairy tales and for a moment he felt like Cinderella. A poor orphaned boy, whisked away to a beautiful castle. He just hoped this dream didn't end at midnight. 

A stern looking witch in a green set of robes looked at the newest Hogwarts students. As deputy Headmistress, it was her duty to greet all new students and prep them for sorting. This year was going to be a challenge. She couldn't wait to meet little Harry. She had been waiting for this day for a long time. There had been a late staff meeting the night before in preparation of his arrival. Most of the staff was excited to meet the young boy that had been gone from their world for far too long. Of course there were some who were not as thrilled as others. She couldn't really blame Severus for his lack of enthusiasm. The boy was sure to remind him constantly of his most hated school mate and ex-best friend. She knew that part of Severus still mourned Lilly's loss. James on the other hand.... 

“Come on children follow me. That's right quickly now. Stay together.” Professor McGonagall called out to all the students as Hagrid ushered the last of the straggling students into the hall. She almost didn't spot Harry, he had been practically hiding behind a much taller boy that was obviously Ron Weasley. While Harry looked a lot like James, she couldn't remember his father or his mother being so small at that age. He was shorter than his classmates by far and they had always been pretty average in stature. She made a mental note to talk to the headmaster about it and see if maybe it was a recessive gene. He looked happy at least and was gazing around in wonder along with the rest of his classmates.


	6. What a Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finally gets sorted and spends his first night at Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of excerpts in this chapter. I felt it important to incorporate a lot of the original text, because the sorting was so important. Hopefully there aren't too annoying, but I wanted to blend Harry's thoughts with the actual text of the book. The following chapters won't have as much excerpts in them.

[Excerpt: HPSS]

Professor McGonagall showed the first years into a small, empty chamber off the hall. They crowded in, standing rather closer together than they would usually have done, peering about nervously.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.”

“The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours.”

"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."

Her eyes lingered for a moment on Neville's cloak, which was fastened under his left ear, and on Ron's smudged nose. Harry nervously tried to flatten his hair.

"I shall return when we are ready for you," said Professor McGonagall. "Please wait quietly." She left the chamber. 

Harry swallowed. "How exactly do they sort us into houses?" he asked Ron.

"Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking."

Harry's heart gave a horrible jolt. A test? In front of the whole school? But he didn't know any magic yet -- what on earth would he have to do? He hadn't expected something like this the moment they arrived. He looked around anxiously and saw that everyone else looked terrified, too. No one was talking much except Hermione Granger, who was whispering very fast about all the spells she'd learned and wondering which one she'd need. Harry tried hard not to listen to her. He'd never been more nervous, never, not even when he'd had to take a school report home to the Dursleys saying that he'd somehow turned his teacher's wig blue. He kept his eyes fixed on the door. Any second now, Professor McGonagall would come back and lead him to his doom. 

[/Excerpt] 

Diagon Alley, goblins, magic wands, hidden entrances, trains, boats, it was almost too much for Harry. It seemed like his old life was slipping further and further away. Sure, some things here reminded him of his past.... Draco was certainly this new Harry's version of Dudley, but knowing some things never change was almost grounding in this strange new world. 

With all these new magical and mythical experiences you would think Harry would have been more prepared to meet ghosts for the first time, but like many of his peers Harry couldn't help the gasp that escaped his lips as the ghosts floated through the walls. He was happy to see he wasn't the only one who jumped. How embarrassing would that have been! 

They were arguing about someone named Peeves, but they seemed friendly enough. Not at all what Harry would have expected from ghosts. When they noticed the children they started chatting about their houses and welcoming them to Hogwarts. It was Professor McGonagall's return that finally caused them to pass through the wall and continue on their way. 

The Professor pushed open the doors and Harry couldn't believe his eyes. The hall was gigantic and filled with thousands of candles that were floating above long tables where some of the students were already seated. There didn't appear to be a ceiling, the walls seemed to go right up to the heavens. Stars twinkled happily above them and distantly he heard Hermione mention something about the ceiling being spelled. He didn't care what the cause was, all he knew is he never felt so free in his whole life. It was overwhelming and for a moment Harry forgot all about whatever trials awaited him. 

Harry felt Ron tug on his robe sleeve and point at an old dusty hat. One that had looked to have seen better days. Was this some kind of rabbit trick? He had heard Dudley mention that magicians pull rabbits out of their hats once, it was the only time he really remembered Dudley getting into trouble. Magic was forbidden to be talked about in the Dursley household. 

[Excerpt: HPSS]

For a few seconds, there was complete silence. Then the hat twitched. A rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth -- and the hat began to sing:

"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,  
But don't judge on what you see,  
I'll eat myself if you can find  
A smarter hat than me.  
You can keep your bowlers black,  
Your top hats sleek and tall,  
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat  
And I can cap them all.  
There's nothing hidden in your head  
The Sorting Hat can't see,  
So try me on and I will tell you  
Where you ought to be.  
You might belong in Gryffindor,  
Where dwell the brave at heart,  
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart;  
You might belong in Hufflepuff,  
Where they are just and loyal,  
Those patient Hufflepuffis are true And unafraid of toil;  
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,  
if you've a ready mind,  
Where those of wit and learning,  
Will always find their kind;  
Or perhaps in Slytherin  
You'll make your real friends,  
Those cunning folk use any means  
To achieve their ends.  
So put me on! Don't be afraid!  
And don't get in a flap!  
You're in safe hands (though I have none)  
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"

The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became quite still again.

"So we just got to try on the hat!" Ron whispered to Harry. "I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll."

Harry. smiled weakly. Yes, trying on the hat was a lot better than having to do a spell, but he did wish they could have tried it on without everyone watching. 

[/Excerpt]

Harry felt his heart drop into his stomach. He was truly fucked. He wasn't brave, he couldn't even stand up to the Dursley's. He wasn't just or loyal. Before Hogwarts he had no friends and often stole food from the Dursley's or was a disappointment to them. There was no way he was smart enough to be in Ravenclaw. He was often reminded how much of an idiot he was. He didn't want to go to Slytherin... Malfoy said he expected to go to Slytherin. Plus the wizard that killed his parents were in Slytherin. Ron had said anyone who went to Slytherin was evil and bad. If he ended up in Slyherin he was certainly going to lose Ron's friendship. His only friend. Everyone would know he was evil and bad just like the Dursley's always said he was. Even Hagrid said he was a murderer. He had killed Voldemort at one years old. Surely that had to have stained his soul? 

About the time that Millicent Bulstrode was sorted into Slytherin Harry was feeling sick. They didn't seem like a nice bunch. It was just like gym class, he was always chosen last. Wait... wait if he wasn't chosen at all? Could that happen? What if the hat didn't place him anywhere and they made him get back on the train? Told him this was all a mistake.... that he was a mistake. Harry was practically hyperventilating by the time he heard Professor McGonagall call out his name. 

[Excerpt: HPSS]

The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at him. Next second he was looking at the black inside of the hat. He waited.

Hmm," said a small voice in his ear. "Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, A my goodness, yes -- and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting.... So where shall I put you?"

Harry gripped the edges of the stool and thought, Not Slytherin, not Slytherin.

"Not Slytherin, eh?" said the small voice. "Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that -- no? Well, if you're sure -- better be GRYFFINDOR!"

Harry heard the hat shout the last word to the whole hall. He took off the hat and walked shakily toward the Gryffindor table. He was so relieved to have been chosen and not put in Slytherin, he hardly noticed that he was getting the loudest cheer yet.  
[/Excerpt]

Harry sat down next and glanced at the head table. Hagrid gave him a thumbs up and Harry grinned back at him. He did it! He convinced the sorting hat not to put him in Slytherin. A secret he was determined he would take to his grave. He watched as the few people left were sorted, cheering as loud as anyone when Ron joined him at the Gryffindor table. 

Harry glanced at his empty plate, now that his nerves were calmed down his stomach made itself known. Those pastries were good, but didn't really fill him up. Plus he had shared most of it with Ron.

Dumbledore had gotten up and said a handful of random words before sitting back down. He was definitely mad and maybe a crackpot like his Uncle claimed, but Harry couldn't care right now. He was truly happy for the first time he could remember. When the food filled the table, he thought his eyes were going to pop out. He couldn't image how long it would have taken to cook all this food. 

Harry wouldn't say that the Dursley's “starved” him, but he definitely didn't get to eat his fill. He often had whatever leftovers were available assuming he had completed his chores that day and his uncle was in a good mood. Unfortunately, his uncle had been in a terrible mood for the past couple weeks since Hagrid showed up, and he mostly only got whatever food he could take without the Dursley's seeing. 

He waited until the others had grabbed what they wanted and then loaded a little bit of everything on his own plate. Old habits died hard, but he didn't think anyone noticed. Most of them were chatting excitingly with each other. Taking a small bite of the roast beef the flavors danced on Harry's tongue. Oh god, it was delicious. He new better than to eat too quickly or too much, but he couldn't help take a second helping of dessert when it showed up on the table. This had definitely been the best day of his life. The verdict was in, he LOVED magic. 

Glancing back up at the head table Harry took in all his professors. Some of them he knew but most of them he didn't. Quirrell had his head turned so all Harry could see was his turban. He was talking with another man with black greasy hair. Before Harry could turn away from them, the man looked over Quirrell and locked eyes with him. A sharp pain shot through the scar on his head. 

“Ouch!” Harry grabbed his scar but the pain was gone just as quickly as it arrived. Percy asked if he was alright, which he was, but he knew whoever that man was he didn't like Harry. He had seen that look directed at him enough times in his life. 

[Excerpt: HPSS]  
"Who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?" he asked Percy.

"Oh, you know Quirrell already, do you? No wonder he's looking so nervous, that's Professor Snape. He teaches Potions, but he doesn't want to -- everyone knows he's after Quirrell's job. Knows an awful lot about the Dark Arts, Snape."

Harry watched Snape for a while, but Snape didn't look at him again.  
[/Excerpt]

He was going to have to work extra hard in Potions so that he didn't get on Snape's bad side. Out of all the classes Potions was the one he most looked forward to. He was a decent cook after all the meals he cooked for the Dursleys and he figured Potions couldn't be much different than cooking. With that thought, Harry turned his gaze away from Snape and finished his tart. 

Harry was exhausted. He wasn't sure if it was the excitement or all the food, but his body was beyond tired. He could hardly keep his eyes open. He was extremely glad when Dumbledore made his final announcements. Though the business about the corridor and death was alarming. He would have to steer clear of there. 

Somehow he managed to make it through the Hogwarts song and followed Percy up to the Gryffindor tower. Even the ghost didn't get much reaction out of him, he was just focused on getting to bed. Percy said the password and let them into the common room. 

Harry quickly located his trunk and laid down on top of the red and gold covers. A real bed.... and one so much softer than the threadbare mattress that the Dursleys gave him. He was never going to last, he was just so tired. He heard his roommates getting their PJs on and getting read for bed. Harry took off his robe, but left his white T shirt and underwear on. He didn't have PJs, just another item he reminded himself he needed to pick up the next time he was allowed to go shopping. All the boys were distracted and he didn't think anyone noticed the state of his underclothes. He quietly slipped under the covers. He heard Ron talking about the food, and as much as he would have liked to join in, he felt his eyelids get heavy and he was asleep before he could respond. 

While nightmares were not foreign to Harry, he had a much different dream than he normally did. He was Quirrell and Snape was there too. It was really weird. The only thing in the dream that made sense was the bright green light. It was the same bright green light of his normal nightmares and he woke up drenched in sweat. He looked around the room to make sure none of the boys were disturbed. The room was very dark but he could hear Ron snoring from the bed next to his. He got his breathing under control and laid back down. By morning he wouldn't even remember his nightmare. It was just one of many.


	7. Potions Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry attends Potions and we get our first glimpse at the inner Severus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't touch the intro into Potions, because how much better could anyone write that epic speech from Severus Snape. 
> 
> Like always, I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I would be a lot richer right now :) 
> 
> Please leave your feedback and comments.

The first week of school for Harry was much like you would image. He spent most of his time lost. Some classes like Transfiguration were more interesting than others. History of Magic was the worst so far, Binns could be more dull and boring than watching a kettle boil. There was so much information to take in, but worse of all was getting use to traveling around the school. 

There were a couple hundred staircases, which moved on you, and the pictures moved as well. This made it extremely difficult to get your barrings. Asking the ghosts didn't help at all, some of them would point him in the right direction, but others would send him the completely wrong way. More than once, Harry found himself late to class or stuck in a dead end corridor. Luckily, the professors so far had been really understanding. Someone really should make a map of this place. 

Today, Harry and Ron managed to find the Great Hall with enough time to eat a decent breakfast. Harry was still getting used to the idea of full meals. The first few days at school he had made himself sick by eating way too much. He still liked to carry an apple or some toast in his bag, old habits, but he was learning that food wouldn't be taken away as punishment which put him at ease. He hadn't earned any punishments yet, but he had heard some of the older students having received lines or detention. He was a little worried about what happened in detention, but he was determined to behave himself so it didn't really matter. 

[Excerpt: HPSS]  
"What have we got today?" Harry asked Ron as he poured sugar on his porridge.

"Double Potions with the Slytherins," said Ron. "Snape's Head of Slytherin House. They say he always favors them -- we'll be able to see if it's true."

"Wish McGonagall favored us," said Harry. Professor McGonagall was head of Gryffindor House, but it hadn't stopped her from giving them a huge pile of homework the day before.

Just then, the mail arrived. Harry had gotten used to this by now, but it had given him a bit of a shock on the first morning, when about a hundred owls had suddenly streamed into the Great Hall during breakfast, circling the tables until they saw their owners, and dropping letters and packages onto their laps.

Hedwig hadn't brought Harry anything so far. She sometimes flew in to nibble his ear and have a bit of toast before going off to sleep in the owlery with the other school owls. This morning, however, she fluttered down between the marmalade and the sugar bowl and dropped a note onto Harry's plate. Harry tore it open at once. It said, in a very untidy scrawl:

Dear Harry,

I know you get Friday afternoons off, so would you like to come and have a cup of tea with me around three?

I want to hear all about your first week. Send us an answer back with Hedwig.

Hagrid

Harry borrowed Ron's quill, scribbled Yes, please, see you later on the back of the note, and sent Hedwig off again.  
[/Excerpt: HPSS]

He was finally going to have Potions. Harry had stayed up last night after his roommates had gone to sleep trying to finish the first chapter of his potions text. Trying to read his text behind drawn curtains proved to be harder than he thought, so he didn't get as far as he hoped. He had flipped through his text while at the Dursley's, but he had to sneak peeks whenever he could. His uncle had locked up all his magic stuff in his old bedroom under the stairs and it was hard to get to it without his uncle seeing. 

Harry was excited and apprehensive for this first lesson. He was apprehensive because he had heard stories from the older kids about how unfair Snape was towards Gryffindors and what Ron just said confirmed it. Not to mention the fact his scar hurt last time Snape looked at him. He hoped that it was a coincidence and that he didn't have to deal with that pain every week for the next seven years. Even with all those worries, he couldn't help but be excited. He was a pretty good cook, so he felt like he might really excel at Potions. 

The idea of potions fascinated him, to be able to create something useful from ordinary ingredients could be life changing. Sure transfiguration was helpful, but potions could fix bones, take away bruises, or even relieve pain. Harry hoped to learn enough from class that he could make some potions to take during the summer. He hoped that Hagrid could keep him over the summer or maybe he could go with Ron, but he doubted that it would happen. Who would want to keep a burden like him around that long? No, even if he was able to go with someone for a few weeks, it wouldn't be long before he was dumped back on the Dursley's doorstep and there would be hell to pay. 

Glancing at the clock he elbowed Ron to get his attention, “Hurry up and finish Ron! If everything your brothers have said is true, we don't want to be late and irritate Snape on the first day.” 

Ron shoved a few slices of bacon in his mouth and grabbed his bag. “Right mate, let's get going.” 

[Excerpt: HPSS]  
Potions lessons took place down in one of the dungeons. It was colder here than up in the main castle, and would have been quite creepy enough without the pickled animals floating in glass jars all around the walls.

Snape, like Flitwick, started the class by taking the roll call, and like Flitwick, he paused at Harry's name.

"Ah, Yes," he said softly, "Harry Potter. Our new -- celebrity."

Draco Malfoy and his friends Crabbe and Goyle sniggered behind their hands. Snape finished calling the names and looked up at the class. His eyes were black like Hagrid's, but they had none of Hagrid's warmth. They were cold and empty and made you think of dark tunnels.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking," he began. He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every word -- like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort. "As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death -- if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

More silence followed this little speech. Harry and Ron exchanged looks with raised eyebrows. Hermione Granger was on the edge of her seat and looked desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead.

"Potter!" said Snape suddenly. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

Powdered root of what to an infusion of what ? Harry glanced at Ron, who looked as stumped as he was; Hermione's hand had shot into the air.

"I don't know, sir," said Harry.

Snape's lips curled into a sneer.

"Tut, tut -- fame clearly isn't everything."

He ignored Hermione's hand.

"Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

Hermione stretched her hand as high into the air as it would go without her leaving her seat, but Harry didn't have the faintest idea what a bezoar was. He tried not to look at Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, who were shaking with laughter.

"I don't know, sir."

"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?" Harry forced himself to keep looking straight into those cold eyes. He had looked through his books at the Dursleys', but did Snape expect him to remember everything in One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi ?

Snape was still ignoring Hermione's quivering hand.

"What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

At this, Hermione stood up, her hand stretching toward the dungeon ceiling.

"I don't know," said Harry quietly. "I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?"

A few people laughed; Harry caught Seamus's eye, and Seamus winked. Snape, however, was not pleased.

"Sit down," he snapped at Hermione. "For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?"

There was a sudden rummaging for quills and parchment. Over the noise, Snape said, "And a point will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter."  
[/Excerpt]

Severus barely contained himself at the brat's attitude. The nerve of Potter... to not study for his class, to show up at Hogwarts looking so much like his enemy, to have his mother's eyes... He had been dreading this year for a long time. If he didn't owe his life and his freedom to the old man, he might have left Hogwarts just to save himself the heartache this small boy brought to him. Potter was a constant reminder of his faults, all the poor decisions he had made when he was just a boy himself. How power hungry he had been then. His thirst to prove himself. His desire to learn as much as possible to protect his mum and him from an abusive drunk father. His careless words which pushed his only true friend out of his life. So many poor choices that assaulted him every time he looked into Potter's green eyes. 

With a sharp word, the class had started their potions and Severus began to pace the room. 

'Clearly the boy has been abused himself', Severus thought bitterly. Just one more piece of guilt to add to his own towering load. If Severus hadn't eavesdropped that day, if he hadn't caused the Dark Lord to go after the Potter's, the boy would have probably grown up happy and spoiled like the prince of the Potter legacy. Instead, he was a small waif of a boy that showed some classic symptoms of neglect. Severus had been watching him for the last few days. He saw the small flinches the boy tried to hid whenever Weasley touched him. He saw the way Potter waited for others to serve themselves first before taking any food. Much less food than a boy his age would normally take. He saw the way he hid food when he thought no one was looking. His own godson seemed to tower over Potter and used that to intimidate him. He was sure Lucius was already getting reports from Draco. 

The talk had certainly spread throughout the staff room. Dumbledore had been on the receiving end of quite a few glares from Minerva. Clearly, he wasn't the only one who noticed the boy's behavior. Unfortunately, they all had a role to play. It was only a matter of time before the Dark Lord came back. Both he and Dumbledore spent many a sleepless night talking about that very topic. When the nightmares had gotten so bad that Severus was afraid to close his eyes, the headmaster would poor some tea and they would talk over a game of chess. He never questioned when Severus would show up at his door in the middle of the night, Dumbledore would just quietly let him in and order some biscuits. Lately, all their late night conversations focused around the small boy currently sitting on the bench in front of him. Severus couldn't afford to show any kindness to the boy. Instead he let the anger and grief he felt to fuel his temper. Each word pushing Potter further and further away from him and if Draco's grin was any indication, his hatred of the boy would soon spread throughout the Slytherin's. With any luck, word of it would trickle down to the death eaters who remained loyal to the Dark Lord. That small flicker of defiance from the boy had certainly taken him by surprise, he was equal parts glad to see it and pissed that Potter chose now to stand up for himself. At least he could tell Dumbledore that his favorite pawn hadn't been broken completely.

Startled out of his thoughts, he re-focused on the class just in time to see Longbottom's potion explode. Fuck his life. 

Harry had never been so thankful for a class to end. 

'Ok, so clearly Snape hates me', Harry thought. Harry couldn't help but feel bummed. He was really looking forward to this class and all his hopes had been crushed by Snape almost immediately. He had also lost another point during the class, and having lost two points his first week was sure to anger his housemates. Maybe Snape could just see what other people couldn't.... maybe he saw what his uncle saw. In a messed up way it was a little comforting as well. Everyone looked at Harry like he was a savior, like he could walk on water, and it was offsetting. He wasn't use to being acknowledged at all, and since he's been in the Wizarding World everyone has stared at him or tried to touch him as if he was a miracle. Everyone but Snape. Sure he looked, but he looked at Harry as if his very breathing was insufferable. It was... normal? At least Snape was one person Harry didn't feel worried about disappointing. 

Ron asked if he could join Harry at Hagrid's. He had almost forgotten about meeting his friend after class. With a smile, Harry and Ron ran towards Hagrid's hut. It was nice to catch up with Hagrid. Hearing him talk about Finch and Ms Norris made Harry realize he wasn't the only one that cat seemed to stalk. Even Hagrid said not to let Snape bother him. Though he got the impression there was something going on with Snape that Hagrid didn't want him to know about. Harry had also found out while pretending to eat his rock cakes that Gringotts was broken into. That couldn't be a coincidence right? It had to have something to do with that package that he and Hagrid picked up that day. Whatever was going on, Harry felt like he was stuck in the middle of a game he didn't know how to play.


	8. Flying and Giant Dogs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story continues for Harry and he learns a little more about a certain corridor.

“Why do we have to have flying lessons with the Slytherins?” Harry groaned as they made their way to the field. He hated Malfoy as much as he did Dudley. They were both mean bullies who thought they were better than everyone else. At least this was the last class before dinnertime. 

It didn't take long for the chaos known as Harry's life to show itself. Before he knew it, Neville had been taken to the hospital wing by the professor and Harry was in the air chasing Malfoy who had Neville's Remembrall. It was his first time flying, but he couldn't believe how free he felt. For a moment all he could focus on was the wind blowing against his face as he rose higher. Flying was so easy! 

He was tired of bullies. He was tired of Slytherins. He was just tired. Steeling his nerves he pulled up next to Malfoy. “Give it back or I will knock you off your broomstick!” 

What happened next was a blur. The taunting from Malfoy, the ball being tossed, the 50ft dive, and the catch that landed him where he was now. 

[Excerpt: HPSS]  
"HARRY POTTER!"

His heart sank faster than he'd just dived. Professor McGonagall was running toward them. He got to his feet, trembling.

"Never -- in all my time at Hogwarts--"

Professor McGonagall was almost speechless with shock, and her glasses flashed furiously, " -- how dare you -- might have broken your neck--"

"It wasn't his fault, Professor--"

"Be quiet, Miss Patil--"

"But Malfoy--"

"That's enough, Mr. Weasley. Potter, follow me, now."

Harry caught sight of Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle's triumphant faces as he left, walking numbly in Professor McGonagall's wake as she strode toward the castle. He was going to be expelled, he just knew it. He wanted to say something to defend himself, but there seemed to be something wrong with his voice. Professor McGonagall was sweeping along without even looking at him; he had to jog to keep up. Now he'd done it. He hadn't even lasted two weeks. He'd be packing his bags in ten minutes. What would the Dursleys say when he turned up on the doorstep?

Up the front steps, up the marble staircase inside, and still Professor McGonagall didn't say a word to him. She wrenched open doors and marched along corridors with Harry trotting miserably behind her. Maybe she was taking him to Dumbledore. He thought of Hagrid, expelled but allowed to stay on as gamekeeper. Perhaps he could be Hagrid's assistant. His stomach twisted as he imagined it, watching Ron and the others becoming wizards, while he stumped around the grounds carrying Hagrid's bag.

Professor McGonagall stopped outside a classroom. She opened the door and poked her head inside.

"Excuse me, Professor Flitwick, could I borrow Wood for a moment?"

Wood? thought Harry, bewildered; was Wood a cane she was going to use on him?

But Wood turned out to be a person, a burly fifth-year boy who came out of Flitwick's class looking confused.

"Follow me, you two," said Professor McGonagall, and they marched on up the corridor, Wood looking curiously at Harry.

"In here."

Professor McGonagall pointed them into a classroom that was empty except for Peeves, who was busy writing rude words on the blackboard.

"Out, Peeves!" she barked. Peeves threw the chalk into a bin, which clanged loudly, and he swooped out cursing. Professor McGonagall slammed the door behind him and turned to face the two boys.

"Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood -- I've found you a Seeker."  
[/Excerpt] 

McGonagall seemed so mad when she pulled him away from the rest of his yearmates. He was sure that he was going be sent home for causing problems or at the minimum find out what detention at Hogwarts was like. 

When she brought him to Wood and arranged for him to be the youngest seeker in a century, he was sure that he was dreaming. Not only was he NOT in trouble, he had apparently done well enough that his head of house recommended him to play for the Gryffindor team. Things like that just didn't happen to Harry. Prior to Hogwarts Harry was always chosen last for any teams. No one wanted to risk Dudley getting mad at them. Unless of course the game was Harry Hunting, then he was always front and center. It looked like those days were behind Harry.

With a big smile and his heart pounding from excitement Harry ran to find Ron. 

Dinnertime had just started and the great hall was already busting with people. Tonight was steak and kidney pie and the room smelled heavenly. People were talking about classes, spells, Quidditch, and the general gossip as they loaded their plates full of food. Several people could be heard discussing Harry's daring stunt from earlier. Nothing traveled faster than news of mischief at Hogwarts. 

Severus scowled as said brat ran into the Hall and threw himself down across from Weasley. The way the boy was talking non-stop, Severus guessed the rumors were true. He was going to murder Minerva, slowly, maybe he would poison her catnip. With any luck Albus would have enough sense to forbid the boy playing such a dangerous game. 

It wasn't as if the boy didn't have enough challenges. He was severely lacking in magical knowledge. He was targeted by several who would like nothing more than to destroy him. He was already treated like a celebrity by most of the staff and several of the students. The last thing the boy needed was one more reason to stand out. Severus wasn't sure if the boy could even handle the riggers of the game. If what he believed was true was true, Petunia and her oaf of a Husband did far more damage to the boy than just physically. Was putting an abused child up in the air on a death trap really the smartest thing to do? He had no idea what the hell that old tabby was thinking, but he planned to confront her about it the next time they met in private. 

Severus watched the twins go up and chat with the boys. Out of all the Weasley's, Severus had the most respect for the twins. Sure they were trouble, but they typically knew better than to cross Severus and behaved in his class. At least they didn't focus on being popular like Charlie did when he was in school or have a stick up their arse like Percy did most of the time. No, they were just the right mix of popular, loyal, and smart which would come in handy some day for Harry. The only silver lining to this Quidditch ridiculousness was that he knew the twins would be watching Harry like a hawk. 

Taking a sip of wine from his goblet, Severus almost chocked when he watched his godson head towards Harry. He recovered quickly from his near-death experience and couldn't help but stare at the blond boy as he taunted Harry. Whatever Draco was saying must have been enough to piss of Weasley by the way his face turned red and the way he tensed up as he responded. Severus briefly made eye contact with Harry who was quick to turn his attention back to the conversation. Curious indeed, Severus couldn't help but wonder what that was about. He might have to have a one on one conversation with his godson later. Severus knew Draco was desperate to gain the approval of his father, he just hoped with enough influence, he could make sure Draco ended up on the right side of the war. 

Ok now he was even more curious. That little know-it-all Granger looked like she was about to have kittens. She clearly was not happy with whatever just happened, if her gestures were anything to go by the boys would find themselves in trouble tonight. He made a mental note to tell Filch to keep an extra close eye out for the miscreants. Barely a first year and the boy was already giving him an ulcer. 

Harry glanced up again at the head table. He had caught Snape staring at him a couple times. It was almost as if he could read minds and knew they were up to something, but Ron had accepted this duel so the best Harry could do was push forward. He really didn't want to fight Malfoy, even if the boy deserved it for being a Git. Biting his lip, Harry tried to finish the food on his plate and not think about the fact he might be dead by midnight. 

It came time to duel much faster than Harry expected. The rest of the night seemed to fly by with nervous energy. Ron tried to give him some helpful hints and not for the first time he silently cursed his friend for getting him into this mess. Harry felt like backing out, but didn't want to let Ron down or make himself even more of a target for Malfoy's teasing. It didn't help that Hermione was fighting with them as well. Harry really wished that girl would shut her mouth. Not only was she making him more nervous by stating all the things he already knew could go wrong, she was being so loud that he was afraid she would get them caught before they could even meet Malfoy and Crabbe. When the trio came across Neville in the hallway, Harry was ready to turn back and beg a painting to get the Fat Lady to return. They were so going to get caught. 

By some miracle they made it to trophy room on time, but of course the Slytherin's weren't anywhere to be found. It looked like Malfoy might have set them up, because not long after they arrived Filch was heard closing on them. A mad dash and one run in with Peeves, the Gryffindor's found themselves in a corridor they weren't supposed to be in. Harry was trying to catch his breath and was slightly irritated at Neville tugging on him. 

[Excerpt: HPSS]  
"What ?"

Harry turned around -- and saw, quite clearly, what. For a moment, he was sure he'd walked into a nightmare -- this was too much, on top of everything that had happened so far.

They weren't in a room, as he had supposed. They were in a corridor. The forbidden corridor on the third floor. And now they knew why it was forbidden.

They were looking straight into the eyes of a monstrous dog, a dog that filled the whole space between ceiling and floor. It had three heads. Three pairs of rolling, mad eyes; three noses, twitching and quivering in their direction; three drooling mouths, saliva hanging in slippery ropes from yellowish fangs.

It was standing quite still, all six eyes staring at them, and Harry knew that the only reason they weren't already dead was that their sudden appearance had taken it by surprise, but it was quickly getting over that, there was no mistaking what those thunderous growls meant.

Harry groped for the doorknob -- between Filch and death, he'd take Filch.

They fell backward -- Harry slammed the door shut, and they ran, they almost flew, back down the corridor. Filch must have hurried off to look for them somewhere else, because they didn't see him anywhere, but they hardly cared -- all they wanted to do was put as much space as possible between them and that monster. They didn't stop running until they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady on the seventh floor.

"Where on earth have you all been?" she asked, looking at their bathrobes hanging off their shoulders and their flushed, sweaty faces.

"Never mind that -- pig snout, pig snout," panted Harry, and the portrait swung forward. They scrambled into the common room and collapsed, trembling, into armchairs.

It was a while before any of them said anything. Neville, indeed, looked as if he'd never speak again.

"What do they think they're doing, keeping a thing like that locked up in a school?" said Ron finally. "If any dog needs exercise, that one does."

Hermione had got both her breath and her bad temper back again. "You don't use your eyes, any of you, do you?" she snapped. "Didn't you see what it was standing on.

"The floor?" Harry suggested. "I wasn't looking at its feet, I was too busy with its heads."

"No, not the floor. It was standing on a trapdoor. It's obviously guarding something."

She stood up, glaring at them.

"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed -- or worse, expelled. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to bed."

Ron stared after her, his mouth open.

"No, we don't mind," he said. "You'd think we dragged her along, wouldn't you.

But Hermione had given Harry something else to think about as he climbed back into bed. The dog was guarding something... What had Hagrid said? Gringotts was the safest place in the world for something you wanted to hide -- except perhaps Hogwarts.

It looked as though Harry had found out where the grubby little package from vault seven hundred and thirteen was.  
[/Excerpt]

Something about that package seemed to draw Harry in. He wasn't sure what it was, but he had been curious about it ever since Hagrid picked it up from the bank. His curiosity wasn't worth dying over, but maybe he could find out what was in the package another way. 

Yawning Harry snuggled down in his bed. As the adrenaline started to wear off the exhaustion was setting in. At least he couldn't be called a chicken like Malfoy. Tomorrow was another day and Harry had about as much of today as he could handle. Sleep came easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone, hope y'all are staying safe! Please comment.


	9. Troll Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story continues on for our young wizard and some interesting challenges come to pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has followed me on this journey. I really appreciate the comments. Just a reminder that this story is a slow burn, but we will get there. I hope you enjoy the ride. 
> 
> This story has not been beta'd so any mistakes are my own. Please feel free to point anything out and I will work on fixing it :)

The next week passed in a blur for Harry. He made sure to catch Malfoy’s eye whenever possible and grin at the boy. Harry knew how pissed Malfoy was that Harry had been made a Seeker. If a tiny part of Harry felt glee on the inside for pissing Malfoy off, well that was just an added bonus. Harry had never really excelled at anything in his whole life, had never been picked first, had never had the opportunity to prove himself. This opportunity he had been given to play on the team felt amazing and made him wonder if maybe he had more talents that had yet to show themselves. The Dursley’s had always told him how useless he was, maybe this would be his calling, maybe he would be a professional player and make his team proud. He just wanted someone to be proud of him. He was already starting to accept that maybe… just maybe… the Dursley’s were wrong about a lot of things. After all, they had said magic wasn’t real and here he was a real wizard, living in a magical castle, and learning magic every day. If they were wrong about that, what else could they have been wrong about?

When Harry had gone down to breakfast, it had appeared like any other day. He had gotten a late start this morning, so his hair was a bit more disheveled than normal and his robe was a little worse for wear but if anyone noticed they didn’t say anything as the boy ran into the great hall with Ron. Finding a seat, he loaded some bacon and toast onto his plate. He was getting much better about eating now that he was used to having regular meals and he wasn’t so afraid that food would be withheld from him. Harry knew that he could take food and there would always be more that would appear for others. Waiting for others to eat first was a habit that was very hard to break, but Ron really loved food and it helped to have a friend who encouraged him to eat more. Ron seemed to have an endless stomach somedays. Harry still couldn’t stomach large heavy meals well, but he learned to pace himself with consistent small meals. He also found out that he absolutely loved pumpkin juice. 

All the extra food had done wonders for his body. He was still short compared to Ron, but he was starting to get taller, his pants weren’t as long on him as they had been at first. Which was a good thing, it caused a lot less tripping accidents on the stairs. He had only been at Hogwarts about a month, but he seemed to have already grown at least an inch and a half. Harry was just hoping he didn’t grow too tall too fast, he wouldn’t be able to get back to buy any new clothes until the start of next term. It wasn’t like his aunt and uncle would send him a care package with new clothes. Packages or letters never came for Harry. 

It was this fact which lead to his surprise when an owl dropped a long thin package and a card in front of him. He had seen the owl carrying it, it had gained attention from most people in the room who had started whispering and pointing at the owl as it flew in. With shock and a little hesitance, Harry opened the letter on top of the package. Ron was leaning over trying to read over his shoulder and was clearly excited. 

The package had been from McGonagall warning him not to open the package at the table and telling him that Wood was going to meet him for training. Handing the letter to Ron, Harry was practically vibrating with energy. With Ron hot on his heels and breakfast left forgotten, Harry took the package and ran out of the great hall. What Harry didn’t see was the glare that Snape shot at McGonagall when the package landed in front of him.

Severus couldn’t believe that old tabby would buy the brat a broom! It was completely unheard of for staff to make such a purchase. The school had their own brooms for a reason. Of course Harry Potter would get special privileges...  
“My my Minerva. Tapping into the school’s fund to benefit your team? How positively Slytherin of you. Though I am afraid it will take more than a new broom and a first year to beat Slytherin house.” Severus drained his wine and placed his napkin on the table in disgust. 

Minerva patted his shoulder with a smile. Severus had always been one of her favorites, even though his pride and jealousy often got away from him. “Severus, you should know better. I reached out to the boy’s guardians, but they refused to even talk to me. They slammed the door in my face! Worst muggles imaginable.” 

Severus snorted at that mental picture. Maybe he could get her to put it in a pensieve for him. 

Thinning her lips she leaned closer to him and whispered, “The boy cannot use a school broom Severus, they are good enough for first year flying lessons, but the poor thing would be run over in a real game. So, I used my own funds and bought the boy a proper broom. I admit I have a soft spot for the boy. He looks so much like James, and I cannot imagine what it was like growing up with those muggles. I should have pushed Albus harder about making a visit to the boy, but he insisted that we not interfere in Harry’s upbringing.” 

Severus had asked the Headmaster the same thing. Not that he cared about James, but the boy was also Lily’s and he had made her a promise. He was clearly abused, and it was often the subject of talk in the staff room. 

“I am afraid for him Severus. I’ve tried to get him to open up to me when school first started. He was so tiny Severus, so much smaller than I would have expected. I’m glad to see he’s looking much better now, but I’ve been having the house elves spike his pumpkin juice with extra supplements. Poppy agreed that he seemed stunted for his age, and neither of his parents were small. Harry has refused to talk about his home life. He just said everything was fine and he was grateful to his relatives for taking him in. He was fidgety Severus; he was clearly uncomfortable talking to me about the subject. I make it a habit to talk to all my first years, most of them have trouble being so far from home for the first time. Harry didn’t appear home sick at all, he even asked me if he was allowed to stay at Hogwarts over the Holiday. It broke my heart Severus. Harry has many challenges ahead of him, he’s going to need a lot of guidance and people in his life strong enough to meet those challenges with him…” She peered over her glasses at him, “…and I know you’ve seen it too.” 

“It seems to me Minerva, if you were truly afraid for the boy’s safety you might not have put him on the team at all. Hopefully, he does not manage to break his neck on that new broom, for which he has no training to operate.” Severus stood and made his way towards the side door exit. 

He had much grading left to do, a third year Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff class to teach this afternoon, and several hours of brewing that needed to be completed by tonight. What he hadn’t told Minerva, was that he had been the one brewing the nutrient potion to give to Poppy, so that she could give it to Minerva, so that Minerva could give it to the house elves, so that they would be able to sneak it into the boy’s drink. 

The whole thing gave him a headache, but if the Headmaster was right and Voldemort was on the rise again, he would have to keep his cover intact. It wouldn’t do to have someone see him help the boy, it might forfeit any chance he had to continue to spy and then Albus would lose one of his pawns. No, it was better this way. He just hoped the brat wouldn’t kill himself on that blasted broom. If he died, Severus would find a way to bring him back so that he could kill him and then kill Minerva for good measure! 

Severus stopped short right before he got to the corner leading to the staircase. He heard Malfoy say something in that annoying tone that made him want to smack the boy. So much like Lucius. He had hoped his own influence would prevent Draco from being a spoiled brat, but it seemed like his Godson was determined to carry on the Malfoy legacy. As Flitwick responded and he heard Potter say, “A Nimbus Two Thousand, sir” and some other response that he couldn’t quite make out. Clearly this was an argument about the broom. Those two boys were going to be the death of him. He had already punished Draco once over the summer when he tried to con him into telling Lucius that first years could have their own brooms. It was not often that Draco was told no, and it never ended well for the young boy. Remembering the temper tantrum, the barely spanked pink bottom, and the theatrical level of tears produced almost had him rolling his eyes. He loved Draco, but the boy was a drama queen. 

As Potter and Weasley ran up the stairs towards Gryffindor Tower, he made his way around the corner to deal with his Godson who he knew would be livid. Draco was already turning red and looked ready to explode at Flitwick. “Ah Mr. Malfoy, I was just looking for you. Please accompany me to my office. Mr. Crabb, Mr. Goyle, I think it’s time you returned to the dungeons and prepare for your next class.” 

Severus clamped a hand down on Draco’s shoulder and walked him down the stairs towards his office. He saw the battle raging in the boy’s eyes. He was upset and angry at the situation and didn’t know how to deal with it. Again it reminded him how much he was like Lucius. He just prayed to Merlin that Draco wouldn’t take the same path his father did. Draco had cast one more look at his friends before they separated in opposite directions. The potions room and Severus’ office was on one side of the dungeon and the common room was on the other side. 

Severus opened his office door with a sigh, this day was getting longer by the minute. “Sit down Draco.” 

“Uncle Severus it’s not fair! Why does Potter get to play on the Quidditch team? Why does he get to have his own broom? I wanted to bring my broom from home and you wouldn’t let me!” Draco was too angry to sit, his blue eyes shinned with unshed tears, and his face had turned a blotchy shade of red. “If McGonagall could make an exception for Potter, I don’t understand why you cannot make an exception for me.” 

“It is Professor McGonagall, and I suggest you sit down Draco before you aren’t able to.” Severus sat on the edge of his desk and folded his arms at his Godson. That seemed to knock all the anger out of the boy, because he immediately sat down and the tears took over. 

“Draco, we talked about this. I cannot make an exception for you, we already have a full team of players. It wouldn’t be fair to kick someone off the team and give that position to you.” Severus leaned down look seriously at his Godson. 

Placing his hand on the boy’s shoulder he gave it one last squeeze. “There are several seventh years on the team, next year there will be openings available and I have no doubt you will make it onto the team. Right now, there is nothing I or your father can do. I do not want to have this conversation a third time. Do you understand me Draco?” 

Draco rubbed his eyes, “Yes Uncle Sev, I’m sorry, I just hate that Potter gets to do something I don’t. He’s been gloating about it. I hate him.” 

Waiving his wand at his Godson, Severus freshened him up so that it wasn’t apparent that the boy had been crying. “I know Dragon, but I expect better from you. No more fighting in the corridor and remember my door is always open to you.” 

Severus stood up and guided the boy out of his office. Watching him straighten his spine and regain the mask of cockiness he knew was a mirror image of his father’s, Draco went down to the hall and disappeared into the common room entrance. 

The Potions Master closed his eyes a minute and sighed. He hoped he would be able to stop Draco from making all the wrong choices, it seemed inevitable that the boy would end up a Death Eater like his father. 

Severus was sure that one raven haired young boy would be up in his dorm room right now gushing over his new broom stick. While he understood Minerva’s reasoning, he couldn’t help but feel like this was a calculated mistake. Like it or not, The Brat Who Lived was a target and putting the boy on a broom stick was a horrible idea. It would be so easy for an “accident” to happen while the boy was in the air. Ok, so maybe he felt a little… protective… of him. He never expected to, had in fact been dreading the day when James’ mini-me would walk into Hogwarts. But he had expected… Draco. A Harry Potter too cocky for his own good, who was popular, and expected people to worship him. Not this version of Harry Potter who was malnourished, who flinched when touched unexpectedly, and who screamed loneliness. Not for the first time, Severus wondered how this waif was supposed to be their savior. 

It wasn’t long before Severus would be introduced to yet another version of Harry Potter. A version that Severus desperately wanted to take over his knee. This version would introduce itself a few weeks later on Halloween night. 

Severus was furious. He had already stopped Quirrell from getting to the stone first. Now here he was, in what was left of the girl’s lavatory, standing in water while The Brat Who Was Gonna Die and his idiot friend were inches from a grown mountain troll that appeared to be knocked out. 

[Excerpt: HPSS]

Snape bent over the troll. Professor McGonagall was looking at Ron and Harry. Harry had never seen her look so angry. Her lips were white. Hopes of winning fifty points for Gryffindor faded quickly from Harry's mind.

"What on earth were you thinking of?" said Professor McGonagall, with cold fury in her voice. Harry looked at Ron, who was still standing with his wand in the air. "You're lucky you weren't killed. Why aren't you in your dormitory?"

Snape gave Harry a swift, piercing look. Harry looked at the floor. He wished Ron would put his wand down.

Then a small voice came out of the shadows.

"Please, Professor McGonagall -- they were looking for me."

"Miss Granger!"

Hermione had managed to get to her feet at last.

I went looking for the troll because I -- I thought I could deal with it on my own -- you know, because I've read all about them."

Ron dropped his wand. Hermione Granger, telling a downright lie to a teacher? "If they hadn't found me, I'd be dead now. Harry stuck his wand up its nose and Ron knocked it out with its own club. They didn't have time to come and fetch anyone. It was about to finish me off when they arrived."

Harry and Ron tried to look as though this story wasn't new to them.

"Well -- in that case..." said Professor McGonagall, staring at the three of them, "Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?"

Hermione hung her head. Harry was speechless. Hermione was the last person to do anything against the rules, and here she was, pretending she had, to get them out of trouble. It was as if Snape had started handing out sweets.

"Miss Granger, five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this," said Professor McGonagall. "I'm very disappointed in you. If you're not hurt at all, you'd better get off to Gryffindor tower. Students are finishing the feast in their houses."

Hermione left.

Professor McGonagall turned to Harry and Ron.

"Well, I still say you were lucky, but not many first years could have taken on a full-grown mountain troll. You each win Gryffindor five points. Professor Dumbledore will be informed of this. You may go." 

[/Excerpt]

Minevera looked around at the mess and glanced at Severus. “We need to report this to Albus. Severus will you come with me to see the Headmaster?” 

“Of course.” Severus turned and left heading towards the Headmaster’s office.

Minerva stopped at the door and turned to Quirrell, “Oh, and Quirinus, I trust you can take care of disposing of this by yourself?” Without waiting for an answer she turned and followed Snape. 

“They could have been killed tonight.” McGonagall slowed down her gait as she approached. 

“Not here.” Snape looked over at some of the paintings which were ease dropping. “Pumpkin Pastries” 

The giant stone gargoyle began moving to reveal a long winding staircase. Severus could still feel the rage building inside his chest. They came too close tonight. Harry could have been killed, the stone could have been taken, why the old man insisted it be kept in Hogwarts was beyond his understanding. 

While Severus was trying to get his feelings under control, up in Gryffindor tower there was no control to be found. Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked in to find a party in full swing. People were talking loudly, eating food, and shoving untold amounts of candy into their mouths. As they walked in, the room became embarrassingly quiet. 

It was Percy who finally broke the quiet. “Where have you three been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you? You are lucky that McGonagall didn’t catch you!” 

“Actually, we just earned Gryffindor 5 points by taking out the mountain troll!” Ron said excitedly. 

As each of them filed their plates with food, they got dragged into re-telling the story on how the troll had trapped them and how they managed to knock it out before McGonagall, Snape, and Quirrell could find them. As Harry locked eyes with Hermione, he gave her a small grin, it seems like at least he gained a new friend from tonight’s adventure. 

“You’re lucky to be alive Ron, I’m glad you didn’t lose Gryffindor any points tonight, but don’t think I’m not telling Mum what you did!” Percy said haughtily. 

Ron glared at his brother, leave it to him to ruin a perfectly good night. He was a hero, he helped save the school, what was he supposed to do – let Hermione be killed? “Piss off Percy, I’m fine there is no point in telling Mum!” 

“Awwww our Ickle Ronnikin’s is growing up so fast!” Fred – or was it George? threw their arms around Ron’s shoulder’s and pretended to wipe away a tear. 

And just like that, the room broke out again in chatter and Harry felt like he could finally breath. He hated being the focus of so many people at once. It made him uncomfortable when people would stare at his scar or act like he was some kind of hero. He was no hero. He was lucky to be alive, he just did what he felt like he had to at the time, but he was definitely not interested in re-telling the story over like Ron. Sitting on the windowstill, Harry looked down at his plate of food. His nerves were still upset and his stomach felt queasy. He didn’t think he could manage to keep it down if he ate it. With a sigh he put the plate down next to him as he watched his best friend’s brothers continue to tease him and ruffle his hair. He wondered how it would feel to have family who cared about whether he lived or died. Harry couldn’t help but feel envious that Ron didn’t want his brother writing to their Mum. Harry would give anything to receive a letter from his Mum, even if he was going to be scolded in it. At least then he’d have someone who cared enough to scold him.


	10. Game Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has his first game and of course Severus has to save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Shouting_Star for being a beta reader for me! xx 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this next segment.

‘I am going to kill Hagrid, right after I kill that mangy dog.’ Severus thought bitterly as he made his way down the hall. While normally he would almost glide down the corridor, a certain run in with one of Hagrid’s… pets… had him limping painfully. He knew the temporary spell on his leg would only stop the bleeding for so long.

‘Dammit. Why the fuck does the dungeon have to be in the basement!’ Severus finally made it down to the first floor. The wind from the courtyard blew loudly and the hall had a chill from the outside. It had been a particularly cold November; winter had definitely taken hold. Severus clutched his robe a bit tighter around himself.

Just as he came to the courtyard doorway, Severus saw the one sight he had hoped not to see. Of course, he would see the Brat Who Lived outside with his little friends. Sighing, Severus tried not to limp as he made his way over to the guilty looking students. He would not have bothered to even deter his journey back to his rooms, except that Potter did not have a coat on. He was already in a bad mood, he certainly didn’t need Potter dying from pneumonia on top of it. Not that he cared, but Albus would inevitably find a way to blame him for it. ‘Fool, he needs a keeper, he cannot even dress himself properly.’

“What's that you've got there, Potter?" Severus said glaring at him.

Potter showed him the book in his hands. Severus looked at the defiant boy, who he could see shivering. Severus saw the other two students were bundled up.  
Why Potter only had on his light school robe? He had no ide... ‘oh… he probably didn’t have any warm clothes…bollocks’

“Books aren’t to be taken outside the library Potter, give it to me and get inside before you get in more trouble. Five points from Gryffindor for improperly handling school property.” He saw Weasley turn red, which was at least amusing, it’s the small things in life.  
Turning, he made his way inside to the half whispered angry words behind his back. ‘Idiots.’ He took the staircase leading to the basement.

He would have to figure out what to do about Potter not having proper clothes. Maybe he could make a casual observation to Hagrid. The giant would surely see to it that the brat would get some. The deep winter and snow hadn’t even set in yet. Potter would need something warm. Maybe he could let it slip to Molly Weasley at the next Order meeting.

Harry’s cheeks were flushed red, and it wasn’t just from the cold. He could feel the anger burning inside him.  
He watched Snape’s retreating form limp away. Harry had no idea why Snape hated him so much, but he tried so hard in his class and went out of his way to stay as far away from Snape as possible. It went beyond Snape’s hate of Gryffindor’s, it always felt so personal. He didn’t even pay attention to Ron and Hermione or took points from them. ‘Why is he always so focused on me?’

“What do you think happened to his leg?” Harry swung his book bag over his shoulder.

“Dunno, but hope it hurts.” Ron’s face was trying to compete with his hair for which could be the most red.

“Come on guys, no point in staying out here. Let’s go inside and talk where it’s warmer.” Hermione gathered up the jars with the fake flames and put them in her bag.

“It’s stupid, Snape made up that rule, he did it just to take my book for no reason. I don’t know why we hates me so much.” Harry headed towards the staircase.

As they climbed the stairs up to Gryffindor tower, they would have a bit of time to drop off their stuff and warm up before heading to transfiguration.

Harry’s thoughts drifted to the Potion’s Master and his leg which was obviously hurting him a great deal. As much as he hated that Snape picked on him, he couldn’t help but feel bad that the man was in pain. Ron had seemed glad that Snape was in pain, but he couldn’t understand that. He knew what it felt like to hurt his leg, and he wouldn’t wish that on anyone. He could hear Ron behind him still complaining to Hermione about having to come in and rolled his eyes.

If he were being honest with himself… he didn’t mind coming inside. Harry had always hated being cold. It reminded him too much of his little cupboard under the stairs. So many cold lonely nights he laid on a thin mattress with a thread bare blanket. There was no heating vent in the closet and often in the winter, Harry huddled with all his belongings trying to stay warm. Hogwarts was a much better place to be. Even with Snape picking on him, he’d choose this over Privet Drive every time. Hogwarts felt like a home.

“Don’t forget that our Charms work is due. If you want me to look over your answers tonight, we need to come back to the common rooms early enough tonight. Harry has his game tomorrow and cannot be up late as he needs to be at his best.” Hermione, ever the practical one, switched out a large stack of books for another even larger stack of books.

Ron grimaced; he knew that he still hadn’t completed that assignment. Hermione wouldn’t let him cheat, so he had to at least fill out some answers even if they were wrong. He was glad that they had becomes friends with the bushy haired girl, even if she was a pain sometimes, she came in handy when it came to schoolwork.

“I cannot wait for Harry to catch the snitch tomorrow!” Ron pumped his fist in the air. He would rather be playing himself, but at least he was best friends with someone on the team. That was something. Maybe Harry could get him on the team next year.

Harry pushed Ron’s shoulder and looked around. “Shhhh Ron! That’s a secret remember?”

“Sorry Mate.” Ron at least had the sense to look contrite. “I’m just excited.”

Hermione bit her lip; she was worried for her friend. She didn’t fully trust broomsticks and everything she read said how dangerous Quidditch was. There was a reason there was a rule against first years playing. Rules existed for a reason and it still bothered her when exceptions were made. “You know Harry if you want to sit out the first game…”

“Hermione it’s Quidditch, of course he doesn’t want to sit out!” Ron turned wide eyes on her.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck. He was a bit worried about tomorrow. He was worried that he would make a fool of himself or let the team down. He had practiced a lot with Wood, but that was much different than playing against another team. He didn’t even know Quidditch existed until a few months ago! Just another reason he was angry with Snape for taking his book.

“I’ll be ok Hermione. I cannot let the team and McGonagall down. I’ve got to play.” Harry led the way down to the transfiguration classroom.

Transfiguration was shared with Slytherin. There were already a lot of students waiting to go in. There was currently a third year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw class inside.

Draco took in the trio and sneered. “You won’t win tomorrow Potter, Slytherin will kick your arse.”

Hermione gasped.

“Just wait and see Malfoy. I’m not afraid of Slytherin.” Harry took a step towards the blond boy.

“Maybe you should be. It would be a shame if something happened to you while you were up in the air. Accidents happen.” Draco grinned as the Slytherin’s around him laughed.

Harry was about to respond as the older students started pouring out of the room. He couldn’t say what he wanted with McGonagall there. Even though she favoured her own house, she didn’t put up with any tom foolery. Harry knew any fighting could lead to him being banned from the game tomorrow. He definitely did NOT want that to happen. Biting his tongue, he pushed his way into the classroom.

Harry tried to concentrate on how to turn a leaf into a piece of paper, but his mind was a mess of conflicting thoughts. His mind was on the game tomorrow, Malfoy, and even Snape. It was making him dizzy and he could feel the anxiousness clawing at his insides. Hopefully he’d be able to copy Hermione’s notes later. He didn’t even remember making it back to the tower, when all of a sudden, he was sitting by the window with his Charm’s homework.

[Excerpt: HPSS]

Harry felt restless. He wanted Quidditch Through the Ages back, to take his mind off his nerves about tomorrow. Why should he be afraid of Snape? Getting up, he told Ron and Hermione he was going to ask Snape if he could have it.

"Better you than me," they said together, but Harry had an idea that Snape wouldn't refuse if there were other teachers listening.

He made his way down to the staffroom and knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again. Nothing.

Perhaps Snape had left the book in there? It was worth a try. He pushed the door ajar and peered inside -- and a horrible scene met his eyes.

Snape and Filch were inside, alone. Snape was holding his robes above his knees. One of his legs was bloody and mangled. Filch was handing Snape bandages.

"Blasted thing," Snape was saying. "How are you supposed to keep your eyes on all three heads at once?"

Harry tried to shut the door quietly, but –

"POTTER!"

Snape's face was twisted with fury as he dropped his robes quickly to hide his leg. Harry gulped.

"I just wondered if I could have my book back."

"GET OUT! OUT!"

Harry left, before Snape could take any more points from Gryffindor. He sprinted back upstairs.

"Did you get it?" Ron asked as Harry joined them. "What's the matter?"

In a low whisper, Harry told them what he'd seen.

"You know what this means?" he finished breathlessly. "He tried to get past that three-headed dog at Halloween! That's where he was going when we saw him -- he's after whatever it's guarding! And I’d bet my broomstick he let that troll in, to make a diversion!"

Hermione's eyes were wide.

"No -- he wouldn't, she said. "I know he's not very nice, but he wouldn't try and steal something Dumbledore was keeping safe."

"Honestly, Hermione, you think all teachers are saints or something," snapped Ron. "I'm with Harry. I wouldn't put anything past Snape. But what's he after? What's that dog guarding?"

Harry went to bed with his head buzzing with the same question. Neville was snoring loudly, but Harry couldn't sleep. He tried to empty his mind -- he needed to sleep, he had to, he had his first Quidditch match in a few hours -- but the expression on Snape's face when Harry had seen his leg wasn't easy to forget.

[/Excerpt]

Severus sat in front of the fireplace that night nursing a glass of whiskey. He had spent the last two hours up in the headmaster’s office getting offered truth serum spiked sherbet lemon’s and grilled about the third-floor security issue. While a better Master than Voldemort, Severus wasn’t fooled by the Headmaster’s grandfatherly demeanour. He knew the old man used his friendliness to cloak the fact he viewed everyone as pawns for “the greater good.” Severus had no doubt he’d be sacrificed if Albus deemed it a benefit towards his goals. As much as he disliked Potter, he knew the Headmaster’s obsession with the boy was dangerous. Potter was the most prized pawn of them all. The pawn Albus hoped would one day win his game.

The Headmaster had briefly looked down at his leg when he limped in, but didn’t even bother to comment on it, like it was irrelevant. Severus certainly didn’t expect to be fawned over, but such a blatant disregard for his injuries was vexing. He walked through fire for this man, and in the end none of it mattered. Downing the rest of his glass, he felt the liquid burn his throat. Of course he still promised to come up with new security measures. They all had parts to play. One good thing came from Severus’ injuries. It showed that it was possible to get past Hagrid’s three headed dog.

Severus’ leg gave a twinge of pain at that thought and he poured himself another drink.

He was worried about tomorrow. Not about Slytherin winning, he hoped his team would be victorious, but his mind was on one small Gryffindor that would be playing for the first time tomorrow.

One small annoying Gryffindor. One small annoying insolent Gryffindor.

The fire crackled.

‘One small annoying insolent reckless Gryffindor.’ Severus snorted and drank down his glass of whiskey. That brat had no self-preservation skills. Severus still thought it was a horrible idea to let the boy play. He’d be a target tomorrow and there was nothing Severus could do but keep an eye on him.

Severus had to give the boy a little kudos though, even if it was only in his own mind. He was absolutely furious at the brat for seeing his leg today, he had no doubt that rumours were currently circulating inside Gryffindor tower about him. While he was livid that Potter saw him in such a vulnerable position, he couldn’t help but respect the fact that the boy had enough balls to walk into the staff room uninvited. Specifically, to seek him out no less. He was either incredibly brave or more of an idiot than he first believed. Not many students would purposely seek him out.

It wasn’t often Severus was shocked, but the boy seemed full of surprises. Maybe the boy wasn’t as damaged by his relatives as he though, or maybe the Potter blood ran deep in the boy. Severus could have easily pictured James Potter doing the same thing… Strutting into the staff room, making demands, and having no regard for privacy. But no, the startled face that stared back at him today was not the smug grin that he pictured on James’ face. It was the face of an impulsive boy who didn’t think through his actions all the way. It certainly didn’t stop Severus from wanting to put the boy in his place, but it made him respect the boy a bit more for standing up for himself.

Severus waved his wand cleaning the glass and put it on the deep mahogany table next to the crystal decanter. The set had been a gift from Lucius when he first started teaching at Hogwarts. By that time Lucius was already climbing the ladder towards Voldemort’s inner circle. How different his friend had been then. Already power hungry and corrupt, but not nearly as ruthless and inhumane as he had become.

Severus undid the rows of buttons on his white shirt and stripped it off. Undoing the buttons on his trousers, he lowered them gently past his mangled leg and put everything in the laundry for the house elves. He preferred to sleep in night pants, but a sleep shirt would have to do for now. Severus made his way over to the armoire and grabbed a green night shirt. A gift from Minerva several Christmas’ ago. While she had teased him at the time, it had become one of his more treasured items. Not that he would tell her that.

Reaching into his nightstand Severus removed a glass bottle filled with a deep red liquid. The nightstand was overflowing with all different size bottles in numerous different shades of color, signifying all the different potions he had made up. Nothing had a label, but Severus picked out the right bottle immediately. Being a Potions Master had come in handy as a spy. Potions for pain, scarring, antivenom, antiseizure, headache, nausea, pepper-up, potions to mend bones, blood replenishers -- if there was a potion you could imagine a spy needing, it could be found in that nightstand and Severus was intimately familiar with them all.

Taking the potion Severus laid down and closed his eyes. He’d have to be wide awake and alert in a few hours for the game. Yet his mind was still on edge and sleep didn’t come easily.

The next morning the great hall was a buzz and full of students eagerly chatting with each other and stuffing sausage down their throats. All except one student who was not eager or chatting or eating. Harry was a bundle of nerves and felt like he was going to throw up.

“For the last time Hermione, I am NOT hungry.” Harry glared at the girl sitting across from him.

“You need to keep your energy up Harry!” She tried to hand him a slice of toast, but Harry just batted it away.

While her hand was not on her hip, the exasperated pitch of her voice was enough to make Harry grind his teeth. He didn’t need her to mother hen him. What he needed was a way to get out of this game! He couldn’t handle all these people looking at him and slapping him on the back. Harry felt like crawling in one of the storage cupboards and not coming out until the game was over. How he thought he could do this, he didn’t know, it was a horrible lapse of judgement. ‘Why didn’t Hermione tell me not to do this!’ he thought as his stomach decided to flop again. If a small voice told him that she DID in fact tell him not to do this – well he ignored it.

Before long, it was too late to bail out and Harry was making his way onto the field after a lackluster pep speech from Wood. Harry had the handle of his broom gripped tight and took in all the cheering students and teachers. His eyes caught sight of his friends who were holding up a banner for him and a place deep inside Harry started to settle down. He felt more focused and a lot braver as he flew up with his teammates to assume position.

Harry tried to stay out of the way just as he and Wood had talked about. He had one job and it was to spot the snitch… well and not get hit. Ok - he had two jobs, but so far he hadn’t spotted the small winged ball.

Then suddenly he caught sight of it and dove. Harry barely felt the cold wind whip his face as he flew faster trying to catch the prize. He had been so focused on catching the snitch he didn’t see Flint knock into him. But he sure felt it and gripped his boom tight as he was pushed off course. Harry was sure he would fall, but luck remained on his side at least for the moment, and he rejoined the game. His luck didn’t hold out long though, as his broom suddenly jerked to the side. It started behaving erratically and was out of control; there was nothing he could do.

As everyone watched Harry getting rolled, and dangling in the air, panic filled the stadium.

Hermione grabbed Hagrid’s binoculars and scanned the crowd for anyone who could be jinxing Harry’s broom. Her eyes landed on Snape and she watched him muttering over and over as his eyes locked onto her best friend. Snape had to be the one cursing him! Handing the binoculars to Ron, she made her way over to the teacher’s stand.

In the chaos, everyone in the stands were pushing and she accidently knocked into Quirrell, but that didn’t stop her from getting to Snape. It didn’t take long to set his robes on fire, but by the time he noticed them, Hermione was already scooping the flames into a jar and making her way back to the Gryffindor stands. She knew the fire she had been practicing to warm them up outside would come in handy one day, she just never thought it would be to set her professor’s robes on fire!

Hermione watched as Harry climbed back on his broomstick, and he soared to the ground. At first she thought he was going to be sick, but as he held up a bright golden ball she understand. Harry had done it, he had caught the snitch.

The mood in the dungeon after the game was another story. Students were full of anger, despair, disbelief, and most of the Slytherin’s couldn’t believe they had lost. Worse yet, they lost because of Harry Potter, who soon became Slytherin enemy number one.

While the Gryffindor’s celebrated their victory up in the tower - Harry, Ron, and Hermione were having tea in Hagrid’s hut and learning things they had no business learning. Finally, they had a name. Flamel.


	11. Loss of Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus faces some emotions and poor Harry just cannot win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has patiently waited for the next chapter to be released. I have had a really difficult time these last few months in RL with everything going on in the US. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and is continuing to stay happy and healthy. 
> 
> Special shout out to my beta, Shouting_Star who has the patience of a saint and who hasn’t given up on me.

Severus hadn’t lost control of his magic in a very long time, which is why it came as a bit of a shock when he felt the raw power pour out of his body. The destruction was luckily contained and no one besides maybe the headmaster would be aware of it. His rooms had every ward he knew put on them from anti-eavesdrop to shielding. There was no way anyone would have heard the explosion that was responsible for the destruction piled around him. 

Embarrassment creeped up his spine and coaxed away some of the anger that was still thrumming through his veins. He paced what was left of his living quarters trying to calm down. He would put everything back together later, but right now he did not trust himself to use magic. Tables had been knocked over, shreds of what used to be throws were scattered throughout the room, papers littered the floors, and several pieces of broken crystal glittered by the light from the roaring fireplace. The place looked ransacked, but he knew no enemy but that of his own making caused this. 

Severus prided himself on the fact he needed no one. Sure, he had friendly banter with Minerva. He could also be found sometimes playing chess with Albus or Flitwick, but mostly he enjoyed the quiet sanctuary of his own mind. Whether it was the long hours spent creating potions or curled up with the latest book that caught his fancy, Severus’ favorite person was himself. He had been his only comfort and his only true friend. The life of a spy was a lonely one. It was easier to need no one…. Simpler…. Safer. 

How then, had one small boy, the boy who belonged in part to his own childhood tormentor, been able to affect him so badly? Why did the memory of the boy hanging onto a bucking boom handle chill him more than a run in with a hungry dementor? Severus took a few deep breaths and hung his head. Fear. 

He had been gripped tight by fear, hopelessly watching the boy dangle so high up in the air. Even with a cushioning charm, he knew that falling would probably break every bone in the boy’s body from that height. He had desperately tried to counter the curse, chanting as quickly as he could to break the spell. He had been so focused he had not even seen his robe catch fire until someone yelled. 

Fear. Vulnerability. Desperation. Anger. 

More emotion than Severus could handle pounded in his chest. He had watched as the boy dove straight to the ground, in what appeared to be suicide. 

Fear. Vulnerability. Desperation. Anger. 

His heart had stopped as Harry pulled up at the last minute and tumbled into the grass. 

Fear. Vulnerability. Desperation. Anger.

He had watched as the boy had spit the snitch into his hand and had barely registered the cheers going up from the Gryffindor stands. 

Fear. Vulnerability. Desperation. Anger.

He had to leave. He had to go. 

Fear. Vulnerability. Desperation. Anger.

Fear. Vulnerability. Desperation. Anger.

Fear. Vulnerability. Desperation. Anger.

Fear. Vulnerability. Desperation. Anger.

Severus barely made it back to his rooms before he lost control. For the first time in 10 years Severus wept. 

Fear. Vulnerability. Desperation. Anger. Loneliness. 

HPSSHPSSHPSS

By the time Harry, Ron, and Hermione made it back to Gryffindor tower, the party had eased. People were still too loud and quite a few of the older students were making out in the common room. Harry caught site of two boys quietly tucked into the corner of the room snogging and he felt a blush hit his face. He hadn’t really thought about dating or girls to be honest. He certainly hadn’t thought about boys. He did know that boys weren’t meant to be together. Uncle Vernon had once thrown a potential client out of his house who had the “audacity” to bring his male partner with him. 

When he had asked about the two men, his uncle had immediately turned all his anger towards him. His whipping that night had been one of the more memorable ones, his uncle making sure he knew that he wouldn’t tolerate any fairies in his house. He never really thought about it again. 

This was the first time he was faced with a male couple since that night, and he knew it was rude to stare but he couldn’t look away. They were smiling and looked happy. Was this really what his Uncle had such a problem with? They looked just like any other couple. He was startled out of his thoughts when two arms came across his shoulders. 

“Hey there Harry.” George grinned down at him. “We were wondering when the man of honor was going to show up!”  
Fred poked his side and Harry let out a squeak at the ticklish sensation. 

“Come on guys, I am NOT the man of honor. Our team won, I just did my part.” Harry wiggled out from between them. 

“We couldn’t have won without you!” George made a move to poke Harry’s other side but missed as he twisted away. 

“Ok ok, stop poking me!” Harry laughed and accepted a drink that the twins handed him. “What is it?” 

“Butter beer. But sip it, you only get one and don’t tell Ronnie we gave it to you,” whispered George. 

Harry looked over at his friend who was stuffing his face with a bunch of pastries that were on the table. Even from a distance, he could see Hermione nagging at him, probably about ruining his dinner. He really had grown attached to Hermione, but that girl could talk your ear off when she got started on something. 

Taking a sip of butter beer Harry immediately looked up in shock at the twins. It was delicious. It was creamy and sweet, the flavor exploded on his tongue, and the cool liquid eased his dry throat. “Wow this is amazing, thank you!” 

“Don’t mention it Harry! // To anyone!” The twins said in unison with a grin. 

Harry took his time circling the room and sipping on his drink. He accepted congratulations from the other students, but soon it started to be too much. 

He had never really socialized as a child. Dudley had made sure he had no friends. He enjoyed feeling like he was part of the group. He felt good that he didn’t let his team or his house down, but the attention was still overwhelming.  
His eyes kept scanning the edges of the room, but the couple he caught when he had first walked in were nowhere to be found. 

It would be much later that night when he was laying in bed and listening to his roommate’s snore when he allowed himself to think back on it and wonder what it would be like. 

Did he want to kiss a boy? 

Did he want to kiss a girl? 

He couldn’t really understand the appeal to be honest. Why would you want someone to slobber all over you? He was friends with Ron and Hermione, but he couldn’t imagine kissing either of them. He didn’t have any siblings, but he felt like Ron and Hermione were like his brother and sister. He cared about them, but kissing them? Absolutely not. 

Maybe something was wrong with him and he just didn’t like that stuff. Then again, Ron had never talked about it, so maybe they just weren’t old enough to be interested yet.

He and Ron talked about everything. He was Harry’s best friend. Harry just felt lucky to have friends. He wasn’t looking forward to Christmas. He heard that people went home for the holiday’s and he wasn’t looking forward to being back with his Aunt and Uncle. 

Maybe he could talk to Ron about staying with his family for the holidays? 

A small part of him that sounded suspiciously like his Aunt reminded him that Holidays were for Family and he wasn’t family. Ron’s mum and dad probably wouldn’t want him there anyway. They didn’t even really know him. 

No, he imagined that he would spend the holiday’s locked up like he normally did. Though after his letters had been addressed to his cupboard, his Uncle had him sleep on the floor in the living room. He didn’t like that much; he actually preferred his little cupboard. It was safe in there and it wasn’t much but it was his. 

Harry had grown a lot this year, with a sad thought, he realized he might not even fit in his cupboard anymore. It had already been a tight spot for him before he left for Hogwarts. 

Rolling over on his side Harry closed his eyes and tried to push his Aunt and Uncle away from his mind. He would be seeing them soon enough, he didn’t have to think about them right now. 

He was still at school. He was safe. He had food. He had friends. All the things Harry was grateful for ran on a loop in his mind as he settled down. He hadn’t slept much the night before too anxious about the game. He needed to sleep and hopefully the bad dreams wouldn’t come for him tonight. Harry let the softness of the pillow and the warmth of the blanket sooth him to sleep. 

The next few weeks seemed to drag on forever. Professor Snape had been a terror since Slytherin lost the Quidditch match. Harry lost house points faster than his housemates could earn them. Everyone was on edge and something had to change soon or else he was afraid his house might kick him out. At least Snape didn’t assign him any detentions. Besides the classroom, Harry tried to stay away from Snape as much as possible. The Slytherin’s had been just as bad, often shoving him in the corridors and Malfoy mocked him in class every chance he got. At least he didn't need to worry about leaving the castle during Christmas anymore. 

[Excerpt: HPSS] 

No one could wait for the holidays to start. While the Gryffindor common  
room and the Great Hall had roaring fires, the drafty corridors had become  
icy and a bitter wind rattled the windows in the classrooms. Worst of all were  
Professor Snape’s classes down in the dungeons, where their breath rose in a  
mist before them and they kept as close as possible to their hot cauldrons.

“I do feel so sorry,” said Draco Malfoy, one Potions class, “for all those people who have to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas because they’re not wanted at home.” He was looking over at Harry as he spoke. 

Crabbe and Goyle chuckled. 

Harry, who was measuring out powdered spine of lionfish, ignored them. Malfoy had been even more unpleasant than usual since the Quidditch match. 

Disgusted that the Slytherins had lost, he had tried to get everyone laughing at how a wide-mouthed tree frog would be replacing Harry as Seeker next. Then he’d realized that nobody found this funny, because they were all so impressed at the way Harry had managed to stay on his bucking broomstick. So Malfoy, jealous and angry, had gone back to taunting Harry about having no proper family.

It was true that Harry wasn’t going back to Privet Drive for Christmas. Professor McGonagall had come around the week before, making a list of students who would be staying for the holidays, and Harry had signed up at once. 

He didn’t feel sorry for himself at all; this would probably be the best Christmas he’d ever had. Ron and his brothers were staying, too, because Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were going to Romania to visit Charlie.  
[/Excerpt]

Even though he wouldn’t have wanted to go home, he couldn’t help but grit his teeth over Malfoy’s last comment. It hit a little too close to home. He knew the Dursley’s didn’t want him, but he didn’t want others to know. Did Malfoy know or was he just fishing for a reaction? 

Apparently, he had missed a step while his attention was on Malfoy, because his potion turned a deep yellow and started to hiss. He felt a hand grip his arm tight and yank him back. He then heard Snape yell a spell that caused a shimmering barrier to appear above his cauldron seconds before it exploded. Harry’s heart pounded in his eardrums, momentarily shocked still in fear at the potion that could have hurt him. He felt the hand still gripping his arm and the solid mass of Professor Snape behind him. 

“Thank you.” Harry let out a ragged breath and couldn’t help but lean back feeling the safety his warmth provided. 

Snape let go of his arm and moved to the front of the classroom. He sneered at the students who were too busy watching than paying attention to their own cauldrons. “As none of you dunderheads seem able to focus, clean up and get out. 20 points from Gryffindor for trying to kill yourself Potter and detention tonight after dinner.” 

So much for escaping detentions, Harry thought bitterly. Now that the fear had bled from him, all he was left with was anger. He wouldn’t have messed up that potion had Malfoy not been bothering him. But of course Malfoy didn’t lose any points or get detention! It wasn’t fair. Harry knew getting angry was just asking for more trouble. He knew better than to lose control like that in Potions class. It was too dangerous to get distracted. Potions was the last class of the day, so most of them headed to the Great Hall, but Harry made his way along the busy corridor towards Gryffindor tower. He just wanted to be left alone. 

When Harry made it to the dorms he dropped his book bag by his bed and sprawled out on top of the blankets. He yanked the curtains closed and tossed his glasses on the pillow next to him. He hoped that if Ron came up he would take the hint that he didn’t want to talk about it. He couldn’t possibly understand. 

He had a mum and dad who loved him. 

He had brothers who watched out for him. 

He had a sister who annoyed him. 

Ron had a family. Harry had no one. 

No one who cared if he got hurt. No one who wanted him for the holidays. No one to ask him how his studies were going or if he needed help. 

Harry was grateful to Ron and his family, but as much as he thought of Ron and Hermione as his brother and sister they weren’t. He was angry at Malfoy for being a git but he was equally angry at Malfoy because he was right…Harry wasn’t wanted. No one wanted him and knowing that to be true cut him to the core. He’d give anything to have a family that loved him. 

An hour and a half passed, and Harry’s stomach gurgled loudly. He wasn’t used to skipping meals anymore, but it was too late to grab something. Dinner was wrapping up and he had to go all the way back down to the dungeons for his Detention. 

He hoped Snape wouldn’t keep him all night, he still had some homework to get done and a test for Charms coming up that he needed to study for. He should have used his time wisely instead of sulking, but it was too late now. 

With a sigh Harry got up and left the dorm. He spotted Ron and Hermione deep in conversation in front of the fireplace and felt a twinge of envy. As the door swung open to the hallway, the chill slammed into his body. He would soon be even colder when he reached the dungeons. Harry hated the cold. 

Luckily, the stairs cooperated with him today, and he made his way deep into the belly of the castle quickly. He passed some students, who waived at him, and he waived back but didn’t stop to chat. He knew if he took too long, it would just make Professor Snape angry. He was probably already furious at the mess that Harry had made. 

Reaching the door to the classroom Harry took a deep breath and knocked.


	12. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two boys one potions master. Harry faces his detention with Snape and Draco faces his Godfather’s ire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> As always I have the most wonderful Beta, Shouting_Star. :)
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> LFF

The boy had not been at dinner. Severus drummed his fingers on his mahogany desk. Papers were grouped into piles from his various classes. He had several days of grading to get caught up on. Severus had been distracted, something poked at his mind like an itch he could not scratch. For the tenth time, he found himself gazing at the clock.  
‘He is probably just moping.’ The thought that the boy was in so much distress he was unable to eat bothered him on a level he wasn’t comfortable analyzing. 

“Misty” 

POP 

“What’s Misty to do for Professor Snape, Sir?” The house elf gazed up at Severus with big eyes and pulled on her ear. 

“Please bring me a simple ham and cheese sandwich, an apple, and a cup of the special pumpkin juice I’ve been having you serve to Mr. Potter.” 

“Oh Sir, Professor Snape is so nice watching out for Harry Potter!” 

Severus sneered. The Brat was going to ruin his reputation with his nonsense.

“That will be all Misty.” 

“Misty will bring it right away!”

POP

He would not be held responsible for his actions if the brat didn’t show to detention. 

POP

The meal landed on the corner of his desk and Severus sighed. He had no idea what he was doing. He was being foolish; the boy would clearly not die from a missed meal. Potter had been catching up to his other classmates with all the supplements he had been unknowingly taking. 

Severus’ mind drifted to the scene he had witnessed at dinner. Severus had watched as two of the terrible trio bounced into the great hall, both talking over each other and Weasley was gesticulating wildly towards the Slytherin side of the room. His eyes had landed on Draco who had been wearing a smug smirk and laughing with his housemates. 

He was going to have to seek out Draco later tonight. He could not allow Draco to get away with his role in today’s events. He had warned Draco on several occasions not to play games in his classroom. He was seriously considering the need to reinforce the lecture with a stronger message to Draco’s bottom. These children were going to drive him to an early grave. 

Severus was pulled from his thoughts by a knock on his door and watched as the boy who lived to torture him slipped inside the classroom. He let a frown settle on his face and looked at the disgruntled child. Harry radiated a mixture of anger and resentment. This clearly was about more than just a detention, something deeper played across the boy’s features. He locked eyes with the boy and was flooded with surface thoughts. 

‘Unwanted’

‘Stupid’

‘Snape Hates Me’ 

‘Worthless’

‘Always My Fault’ 

‘Hungry’ 

The back of Harry’s neck pickled when he looked up at Snape. It only took a moment, but he looked away and rubbed the back of his neck easing his discomfort. He wasn’t sure why Snape got under his skin so easily. He felt raw and laid open whenever in the man’s presence. He didn’t understand it, but he knew that it made him nervous and he didn’t trust the Professor.

“Professor Snape? I’m here for detention.” 

“I am sure I told you that your detention was after dinner Potter. Am I mistaken that you did not attend dinner tonight? I did not see you in the great hall.” Snape stood up from his desk and crossed his arms over his chest. The thick material of his black robe draped over him. His tone was sharp and Harry winced. 

Before Harry could open his mouth and lie, his stomach decided to betray him and made a large rumbling sound. 

“No…” A blush fell upon the boy’s cheeks. 

“No, Sir. I won’t have you disrespecting me in my own classroom Potter.” 

“No, Sir. I didn’t attend dinner.” Harry’s eyes looked down, unable to stand Snape’s glare anymore. 

“Eyes on me Potter when I am talking to you! Meals are required to be attended at Hogwarts. You might not find obeying the rules important, but you WILL attend every meal from now on. Do I make myself clear?” 

Harry nodded quickly. He was beyond embarrassed that his Professor was scolding him, but in the back of his mind a small part of him felt… good. He knew that Snape didn’t care about whether he ate or not and was just looking for a reason to yell at him but having someone notice it still felt nice; and if Harry pretended that it meant more than it did, well that would be his secret. 

“Sit down Potter and eat.” Snape retrieved a plate from his desk and put it in front of the boy with a scowl. 

Snape leaned over and his nose came inches from Harry’s face. Harry couldn’t help the shiver that ran through him. “I’m not going to make a habit of hand delivered meals to you Potter. You will eat like everyone else or you will feel my wrath. I won’t be accused of starving the Boy Who Lived.” 

Stepping around to his desk, Snape sat down and picked up his quill and one of the homework assignments awaiting his attention. “And Potter… if you tell anyone I gave you food during your detention, I will have you scrubbing dirty cauldrons until you graduate.” 

Harry took a tentative sip of juice and let out a breath when the taste of pumpkin teased his taste buds. It’s not that he expected Snape to poison him…. but it was a relief that it tasted like it normally does. Picking up the sandwich he took a bite and followed it with another bite and another until the sandwich was gone. 

He had been a lot hungrier than he realized. Snape was leaning over some kid’s papers and writing a long comment in red. Whoever it was, was not going to be happy when they saw all the cross outs. Harry hoped it wasn’t his. He took a bite of the apple and glanced around the room. 

The sound of the quiet room and Snape’s quill scratching against the paper was almost relaxing. Harry didn’t get much opportunity for quiet these days. His common room was loud, his dorm was loud, even the Library often had Hermione chattering away about something, granted at a much lower volume than her normal voice. He felt his mind settle. 

Harry’s fingers absently stroked a name that had been carved into the desk, allowing the wood’s grain to rub back and forth against his fingertip. The rhythmic motion helping to relax him further. Harry must have lost time, because when he turned back to face the front of the room Snape had stopped writing. His quill was laying on top of a stack of papers and the Professor’s dark eyes were glued to him. Harry swallowed and placed his apple core down on the plate. 

“Sorry Sir, I’m finished.” Harry fidgeted in his seat.  
Snape leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers together. “Normally I would make you scrub cauldrons Potter, but I have other things that require my attention tonight and it’s already late. So, instead you will be doing lines for me tonight. Take out the necessary parchment paper and write, I will not attempt to kill myself in Potions class, one hundred times and you may leave.” 

Harry bristled a little at the line, he hadn’t been trying to kill himself! But, he reasoned to himself, it was a short line and was much better than scrubbing cauldrons. Sighing he took the paper from his bag, took out some ink, and a quill. About halfway through his lines he stopped and stretched his hand which had been starting to cramp. He had been getting better with a quill, but his handwriting still was pretty bad. He also had ink splotches on his paper where it would drip. Hopefully, Snape wouldn’t make him redo them. 

“Are you finished Potter?” Snape watched the boy rub his palm. 

“Not yet, I’m half done.” Harry glanced down at the parchment, wishing he could magically make the lines appear. 

“Then you best stop playing around and finish them before I add extra for your delay.” Snape took the next sheet off his pile and re-dipped his quill. 

Harry felt anger flash through him, but he picked his quill back up anyway and continued to write. It was all stupid Malfoy’s fault anyway. It wasn’t fair that he wasn’t in trouble too! Snape was such a git! 

About twenty-five lines were left and Harry was desperate to get them done so he could leave. His hand ached something fierce and he was tired from the excitement today. 

Fifteen minutes later he finished the last sentence and laid his quill down. He stretched the tight muscles of his right hand and felt the knuckles pop. Harry picked up the parchment, careful not to smudge the wet ink and brought it up to Snape’s desk. 

“Here are my lines Professor.” Harry watched Snape scan the page looking for any errors and counting the lines. 

“You’re dismissed Potter. Head straight back to your dorm room, it’s getting close to curfew.” Snape stood from his desk and waived his wand over the plate, banishing it and the glass back to the kitchens. 

Harry all but grabbed his bag and ran back to the dorm. He wanted to get away from Snape before he changed his mind about letting him go. 

Severus watched the boy scamper out of the classroom and felt the corner of his lip twitch in an amused smirk. 

He worried about it getting out that he had fed the boy during his detention. If it came out, he’d never hear the end of it from Minerva and of course the Slytherin students would immediately tell their parents. 

It was a tightrope he walked between watching out for the boy and maintaining his cover. He had goaded Potter about the lines on purpose, he wanted the boy to leave angry with him. Hopefully, that would replace any thoughts of the kindness he had shown him. 

Shrugging his shoulders to relieve the tightness, Snape made his way to the Slytherin Common room to hunt down his Godson. He still had one brat to deal with tonight before he could relax. His body ached for a glass of whiskey and to stretch out in front of a warm fire. 

Stopping in front of the tapestry Severus said, “Atropa belladonna” and watched as the door swung open. 

The Slytherin Common Room had always been impressive. It was elegant. Cool silvers mixed with greens and blacks. Dark polished wooden furniture littered the room. Several students were scattered around the room, working on homework or playing chess. The fire cast a warm glow around the room and took out some of the chill of the dungeons. 

The students stopped what they were doing, and he immediately had their attention as he walked into the room. Severus didn’t coddle them, but he had supported each and every one of the students of his house. Rule number one in Slytherin was ‘House First’. No matter what the circumstances, Slytherin’s stuck together. It was the only way to survive. He gained a strong loyalty from all his little snakes. They looked so young and not for the first time he worried how many of them would lose their innocence in the light of war. How many of these children would die? One child in particular he knew would struggle the most with what was to come. His father would force him front and center in the thick of the blood and carnage. 

“Malfoy, come with me.” Severus saw Draco look at his friends with confusion, but he stood and made his way towards the door. Draco had stripped off his robes and had been dressed in a pair of more casual slacks, having settled in for the night. Still, the boy smoothed his hair and pressed down his shirt making sure ease any wrinkles that might have formed. Always a Malfoy. 

Severus placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder and guided him out of the common room and towards his own private room down the hall. Touching a stone along the wall, a door magically appeared and swung open. Severus found that keying his wards to his hands versus a password to be much more secure. It was also a feature that came in handy when he was too tired or hurt to speak. Taking in the room with his piles of books and research always soothed his nerves. He did not want to overreact with Draco and Severus knew how he handled this would play a key role in their dynamic going forward. Waiving his wand, a fire roared to life in the fireplace. 

“Sit Draco.” He nudged the boy towards the couch. 

“What’s the matter Uncle Severus? Is it my Mother?” Draco looked up concerned. He had been a bit worried that his mother would come to harm without him there. His father was known to have the occasional fit of temper. 

“No Draco, as far as I know your mother is fine. I wanted to discuss what happened today in class.” Severus crossed his arms over his chest. His lips tightened into a thin frown and he looked down at the child currently squirming on his couch. 

“Let me be perfectly clear Draco. You disappointed me today. I expect better from you, not as a Malfoy or a Slytherin, but as my Godson. I have been sorely tempted since the end of our class to take you over my knee.” Severus paused and watched embarrassment color the boy’s cheeks and held up a hand when the boy opened his mouth. “Not yet Draco, you will have plenty of time to speak but for now you will listen. I have decided not to give you a spanking, because I feel it would be unfair to punish you for what ultimately was the actions of another. However, that does NOT mean you are blameless in this.”

Draco bit his lip. He hated when his Uncle used the S word, it never failed to cause butterflies to rapidly flutter in his tummy, and he couldn’t help letting go of the breath he was holding when hearing he was not going to end up over his Uncle’s knee. Severus was not like his father. He didn’t beat him and leave him for the servants to look after. Severus had never punished him out of anger or lost control. His Uncle had often watched him during the summers as his father continued to climb the social ladder and his mother could not be bothered. He loved his mother but she was often cold towards him. A part of him thought of Severus as a pseudo parent and knowing he disappointed his Uncle was almost worse than if he had been tipped over the man’s knee. His eyes burned and looked down at the floor. 

Severus watched as the confident boy who first walked in melted away. He tilted the boy’s face up and kept a strong hand on the boy’s chin. “Potions is not the place for your misbehavior. I have taught you better than that Draco. You have been making potions since you were old enough to stir a cauldron with me. You know better and that is why I am very disappointed in you Draco.” 

“I’m soooorry. Please don’t be mad at me.” Draco’s face was red and blotchy, his voice hitched as he struggled to control his tears. Severus was one of the few people whose opinion really mattered to him. His father had been angry when Potter had made the quidditch team. His father made it clear that he felt like Potter was showing up the Malfoy name, that if he could make the team his son should have been able to as well. When Potter had won the game, his father had been furious. He had written a letter to Draco just that morning telling him that he expected him to embarrass Potter using any means necessary. He was a Malfoy, and with that came certain expectations. 

“I am not mad Draco. I am concerned. What you say to Potter outside of my classroom is one thing, but you cannot be distracting him during my lessons. It is dangerous to you and the other students. If I had not caught what was happening in time, Potter’s cauldron could have exploded hurting him and all those around him. Yourself included!” Severus watched as the boy sniffed. Draco always appeared so much younger when faced with Severus’ displeasure.

“Draco, you are my Godson and I love you, but I cannot let you do something that puts students or yourself in danger. I understand why you dislike Potter, I understand the pressures you feel from your father, but there is a time and a place. You are a Slytherin. Making fun of Potter in front of a teacher and during a lesson was not cunning. It was foolish and had I not intervened, that accident would have reflected badly on you and on me as a professor. I expect you to respect me enough to behave in my classroom and not put me in such a position again.” Severus watched as the boy lost control of the tears he had so desperately kept at bay. They slid down the boy’s cheeks as Draco started to sob in earnest. 

He resisted the urge to comfort the child yet, but he did put his hand on the boy’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze making sure to ground him. He knew the boy required touch. So often he had watched Lucius lay into the boy and turn his back on him, not unlike his own father had done to him. Severus was not his Father’s son. Discipline was a necessity of life. It was meant to impart a lesson… to guide, nurture, and correct misbehavior. Discipline with care could create a fresh start and release the built-up guilt one often carried with them. They were almost done here. 

“What do you have to say for yourself Draco?” Severus tipped the boy’s head back up to look at him. 

“I’ll do better Uncle Sev, I’m so sorry I caused trouble in class today. I didn’t mean to disrespect you! I was so angry at Potter and my father’s been upset with me for not getting on the Slytherin team, and I don’t know.” The boy broke into another round of tears as he looked up into Severus’ eyes. 

So lost… “I accept your apology Draco and I forgive you child, but actions have consequences. I expect you to go spend ten minutes in the corner thinking about what you could have done differently. I will tell you when your time is up. Go.” Severus stood the boy up and gave him a swat to his bottom as he ushered him towards the corner of the room. 

“Owwww Uncle Seeeeev.” Draco rubbed at his eyes and scrubbed his wet cheeks but moved to the empty corner by the fireplace. 

Severus knew the boy’s whining was more from embarrassment at the childish punishment rather than pain from the swat. He probably did not even feel the swat through his trousers. 

“You acted immaturely today Draco. I expect you to stand there quietly and accept your punishment unless you’d rather me follow through on my original plan to take you over my knee?” Severus lowered his voice, knowing the boy would heed the warning in his tone. 

“No Sir, I’ll be good!” Draco hated the corner. It was tedious, boring, stupid, and unfortunately a favorite of his Godfather’s. ‘I’m going to build a round house when I’m older.’ Draco thought with a huff. ‘Ugh, I hate this. I hope Potter scrubbed cauldrons until his fingers bled!’ 

Severus watched the boy fidget in the corner. He never could make Draco stand perfectly still, but it was still an effective method to get the child to calm down. The boy knew how to test his patience, in some ways he felt like Draco pushed him just for the reminder that someone was there to gently push him back. Merlin help him, but he was going to do his damnedest to make sure Draco survived the war that was coming. That he would not turn into the cruel man his father was. 

“Draco your time is up child, come here.” 

Severus was sitting in his armchair in front of the fire and motioned the boy closer. When he got within arm’s reach, he picked the lightweight child up and sat the boy on his lap. “How could today have gone differently Draco?” 

“I shouldn’t have let my Father’s letter get to me and I shouldn’t have confronted Potter during your lesson. It was foolish and I wasn’t thinking. I could have been hurt.” Feeling the comfort of being held and smelling the unique scent of sandalwood, citrus, and potions ingredients that seemed to always follow his Godfather around, Draco finally relaxed for the first time since his Uncle had collected him. 

Severus rubbed the boy’s back and let himself cherish this moment with his Godson. He knew these moments were becoming rarer. Soon the boy would not accept comfort. He was a Malfoy and Malfoy’s do not cuddle. It hurt him deeply that the child would soon face being disowned or following his father’s footsteps like the good little soldier that he has been raised to be. He just hoped Draco remembered moments like this and relied on him when the time came before his soul was forever scarred by unspeakable darkness. 

All too soon Draco’s mask of indifference slipped back in place and Severus could not help but feel regret. He climbed down off Severus’ lap and adjusted his clothing. Severus hated seeing the mini-Lucius that stood in front of his right now. “I’ll always be here if you need me Draco. You may head back to your dorm.” 

With a nod, Draco made his way out of the door and back towards the common rooms. 

Severus looked at the closed door to his rooms for longer than he cared to admit. With a sigh, Severus stood up and stripped off his robe. He made his way to the shower and turned on the hot water than he knew would ease his tired muscles. 

His thoughts circled around the two boys. 

One raven haired boy who practically screamed for someone to care about him. A boy who ate what he was given without complaint, just happy to have what he was given. A boy who desperately needed the boundaries he had never had. A boy who was expected to save a world because he was Harry Potter. A boy who was abused. 

One blond haired boy who was loved and cared about to the point of being spoiled rotten. A boy who never seemed to get enough attention. A boy who felt safe and cared about enough to push boundaries in order to see what he could get away with. A boy who thought he was above rules because he was Draco Malfoy. A boy who was entitled. 

It was really a shame that they were on opposite sides of this war. Under different circumstances they probably could have learned a lot from each other. He just hoped that he could continue to inch Draco towards the light. 

Stepping out of the shower, Severus dried off and debated going back out to the living room for a nightcap. The thought of a few fingers of whiskey tempted him, but he could already feel a headache forming and thought better than to put alcohol in his system. It would limit which potions he would be able to take tonight. 

It had been a very stressful day, and the headache came of no surprise. He had felt such a moment of panic when he caught sight of Potter’s cauldron. Fear. He had pulled the boy to him, every cell inside of him screaming to keep the boy safe. He had been slightly worried that his magic would react uncontrollably, but the magic pulsing inside him eased when the threat had been neutralized. 

He would need to get a handle on himself. He could not show the boy kindness. He could not lose control every time the boy found himself in a bit of trouble. ‘It didn’t fit into Albus’ plans.’ He thought bitterly. Plus, it was distracting him from his duties. He knew something was wrong with Quirrell. He knew Quirrell was going after the stone. They could not afford for him to lose sight of the long-term goal. They needed to stop The Dark Lord from regaining control at all costs. They were not ready to face him again. Har…Potter was not ready. 

With a groan, Severus rolled his neck, grunting when it made a loud crack. He made his way towards his bed where soft cool sheets were awaiting him. He decided to take some dreamless sleep tonight, and without nightmares, he would hopefully find a night of rest. Grabbing the correct bottle from his nightstand, he downed the potion and closed his eyes. 

Unbeknownst to Severus, up in Gryffindor tower a young boy who had not had the luxury of such a potion was struggling with nightmares of his own. He had been grilled by Ron and Hermione when he had gotten back to the common room. Overtired, Harry had snapped at them to leave him alone. By morning he would only remember pieces of his dreams, but the feeling of loneliness would cling to his sweat soaked skin.


End file.
